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!writeponies An anonymous review on Equestria Daily said my 300-Word submission had "mixed tenses." I'm quite sure it doesn't. preview.tinyurl.com/3wczaye Would anyone be willing to help me dig for them, or confirm their absence?
Saturday, 14-May-11 14:52:49 UTC from web- ★ likes this.
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@scribus I don't notice any tense issues in it.
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@scribus I liked it, I say it should become its own project and make a longer story of it.
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@marrock Thanks, glad it's not just me. I'm thinking the fragmented sentences may have been confusing, after reading Anon's comment.
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@scribus I took a look. there are a few instances, and shoot should of been the word shot.
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@delc17 Shoot! Confound stealthy typos... Thanks! What would you say the other ones were?
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@doctorwhooves Thank you, but I'm honestly not certain I have a clear idea of where else to take it.
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@scribus I'll give u a prime example "He had a piercing headache between his eyes." (that's fine, it's using present tense) "He remembered a walk in Whitetail Woods, gathering clouds, lightning." (remembered a walk makes it past tense, if u wanna stay in present tense, the line should of been "He remembered walking")
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@delc17 I thought "had" was past tense of "to have." Like, "I had a pet dog when I was a kid."
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@scribus ah ok, yeah, i skipped over that. Though at first thought, those 2 sentences can be somewhat confusing on the tense. I think if u werent limited by the 300 words, it might of turned out better
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@delc17 What? No.
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@scribus I reread it, this time paying a lot more attention, and i can't tell any errors this time. I'd choose some words differently, but that would be me, not you. just to make it sound a bit cleaner. but doing so might go over 300 words
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@delc17 I had originally worded things differently, but I decided to make Trixie's identity more obvious & needed to cut it down to make room. Thank you for your help.