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Don't let @tiffany do a few days of babysitting because he will literally sit on top of your child for several days
Saturday, 18-Apr-15 01:07:29 UTC from web-
@northernnarwhal I tend to assume names for things are commands which is why I'm banned from the stroke victims ward
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@tiffany Joke of the day right here.
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@awolditzy uwu
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@tiffany Is that why you were handcuffing all the cardiac arrest victims?
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@northernnarwhal I saw "handicap space" and so I attacked the asphalt with a jackhammer
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@tiffany This explains that strange dance in the weird costume you were doing when you said you were "beating around the bush"
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@northernnarwhal You'd think, wouldn't you
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