Joe Shores's home timeline


  1. Now that Virginia’s a safe blue state can somebody PLEASE primary my DINO Senator

    about 9 hours ago from web
    • @mrmattimation I could not even begin to fathom the reason why you wanted to say that.

      If Virginia does not vote blue enough upcoming presidential election you'll lose and if they do vote blue enough you probably do not even halfway get enough smug self-statisfaction to offset that possible loss.

      Something like the gamer matrix only instead of betting on a game being good or bad you bet on colours on a map.

      about 7 hours ago in context
  2. Yo are we banning twitch streamers because their dogs showed up and started sniffing their crotch on camera? Aight internet, Imma head out, that’s papayaing stupid.

    about a day ago from web
  3. YouTube commercial : "Please buy the Game of Thrones HBO complete series on DVD or Blue-Ray."

    My brain : "No thanks, I think the yearly recommended dose for rage induced haematoma's is a zero"

    Its a good thing alcohol serves as a blood-thinner. or GoT might have actually killed me.

    But on second thought that might have been RRM/D&D's plot from the start, hmm...

    about 19 hours ago from web
    • I’m being investigated at work over an allegation that everyone knows is totally bogus, and now the guy is saying he doesn’t want them to check the cameras. Gee, I wonder why.

      about 20 hours ago from web
    • Today I learned there is a Sega Master System game called "Dragon papaya." I don't even know if it will pass the #, but it turns out it is *not* actually a spinoff of "Dragon Ball."

      about 2 days ago from web
    • No Karen, there are not 26 days left in this decade. There are 396.

      Yes I know it sounds like the next decade but there was no year 0.

      That means the first decade was year 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

      That means the 202nd decade is 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020.

      Alright then, enjoy your retirement.

      I know you are only 22, but you just said numbers are arbitrary.


      Sharing this because I am sure someone could get a laugh out of this.

      about a day ago from web
      • My steam controllers came in. One of the 2 boxes was all banged up and had repair-tape of the sender all over it. DoA, that story is going to be long, rough, and unpleasant.

        Spend a bit of time on my working steam controller, and it is actually a nice thing. I poked a bit around on my Steam to area's where I do not go pretty often, being greeted with all sorts of soundbytes from GTA VC when I put on the music player on.

        Say Goodnight Mr Diaz !

        But I can see this being a real nice doohickey. Probably going to spend at least some time familiarizing myself with the device, and then if my 2nd one ever gets whole again probably load it up with all sorts of weird stuff. I already know where to begin actually.

        Now the question if it will EVER work well on the Nintendo Switch. Hah, never. the actual buttons and stick are way too LDOS/RDOS to make it halfway comfortable for gaming sessions of over 5 minutes.

        about 2 days ago from web
      • GLS is the worst packet delivery service. I was at home and they didn't bother to ring the bell and they went straight to leave a note in my mail box to pick up the packet in the middle of nowhere at a kiosk.

        about 2 days ago from web
      • I love making sprawling, chaotic spreadsheets for the games I make. Maybe one day I'll actually make one of these games once the spreadsheet stops being fun.

        about 2 days ago from web
      • I dunno how unpopular an opinion this is, but I think the straight man in any comedy scene is 100x funnier if he just doesn’t say anything.

        about 2 days ago from web
      • We’re entering the home stretch on our way to Election Day and I dunno about the rest of America, but I’M closing my eyes and plugging my ears until it’s all over.

        about 3 days ago from web
        • @mrmattimation With all due respect, I think you are somehow doing what you are doing in the reverse order ?

          I mean I like putting my eggs in my favorite basket as much as the next lazy hen. But you kinda want to return to see the work you do actually do pay off. What if I chose the Beto basket up early ?

          Not to mention that EVERYONE ( and their mum ) are extremely on edge because of the seasonal festivities and the outside cold.

          Besides, the time untill Januari 20th 2021 is a LONG one to cover your ears and plug your eyes.

          about 2 days ago in context
          Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
      • Wake up, check the funnies that my friends have send me.

        ( >> Twenty-bleeping-ninteen. I was supposed to be on a starship by now, conversing with intelligent robots, deciding what sort of body I'd like to upload my immortal consciousness to. Instead we're all still on this bleeping rock, wondering how to placate the "bleeping working class" ... I'll never forgive the troglodyes who stole the future I EARNED to prolong their worthless existence << )

        What an odd thing to say. Why is this in my daily funnies ?

        Oh... OHHHH !!! I see now... It's a thing Moviebob said. Ohkay so NOW it is funny :D And the more you learn about him the more you agree with the Germans that there should be an English word for Shadenfreude.

        Wait, he was hired in 2018 by the same people who fired him in 2015 in order to make the content less political ?

        This thing is so complicated :o

        about 3 days ago from web
      • I’m gonna go ahead and tell people at work tomorrow that I look exhausted because of all the sex I’ve been having, and NOT because I spent several hours in virtual reality instead of sleeping

        about 3 days ago from web
      • Playing though Vice City on a modern day computer. Our protagonist has the tendancy to sometimes speak during the loading screens from indoors to outdoors when on missions.

        At one point, just before seeing the racer you need for the heist, he pretty much says in the face of the driver "Why can't I ever meet someone normal ?" as the loading time was too short to let the audio play out. Adding to the humor right at the moment that this driver guy starts to freak out enough that even I just want to throw some crazy pills his way.

        I mean, I won't since he is just a bunch of polygons, and drugs are expensive. But you got the jist of it.

        about 4 days ago from web
      • Old Chinese guy who threatened to sue me a few weeks back came in today looking for vitamins that help with your memory. He must need them, because he asked me three separate times where the vitamins were. Then he tried to pay with the gift card I offered him a few weeks back, but he didn’t have the gift card, just an activation slip. I told him there isn’t enough information on the activation slip for me to charge the gift card, he tells me he never got a gift card. I tell him, sir, you’re holding the activation slip for the gift card. He says “you lie to me, i not lie to you, you mistreat customers, you bad man” and leaves. One of the more bizarre things to happen to me this week.

        about 4 days ago from web
      • The more I learn about American Politics, the happier I am that I am not there.

        Perhaps it is some sort of displacement glee, since I am sure that learning about my own countries politics would leave me heartbroken in a way regarding where I am.

        about 5 days ago from web
      • Quick, how do I un-lik something ?

        about 5 days ago from web
      • Oh hey I survived no-nut-november. It is a good thing I knew peanutbutter contained nuts, or I would have failed it.

        about 6 days ago from web
      • Hitman 2 is probably one of the best games of all time

        about 6 days ago from web
      • Almost comical how the GOP is having a hard time finding a candidate to fill the Senate Ethics Committee chairmanship vacancy.

        about 6 days ago from web
        • @mrmattimation Senate rule XXV. It comes up every few years, the laughter I mean. Barbara Boxer and Pat Robert's cases specfically. Eventually they'll find some poor sodding excuse to bend the rules a wee bit or some poor excuse for a politician to dump there for a while. The ones that stand out in the game of politics do not stay in there for long. Look at Mitch McConnell or Harry Reid. Gotta climb up that ladder somehow. Even if that means, to quote Dinozzo from NCIS from the start of season six "Being the only cop on a Carrier isn't in any way a 'fun' thing to do, especially for this salary".

          about 6 days ago in context
      • Seemingly it becomes harder and harder in life to not trigger someone into a politically motivated semi-rant. I was just asking if all the kids get sweets by the helpers and some woman gets up all in my face about how I used a degrading word.

        Smile and nod... smile and nod...

        "I like candy"

        Though it was hard for me not to sigh out loud and reach for my emergency-pocket-Brandy.

        about 6 days ago from web
      • I see so many repair and product review videos on youtube and I wonder if someone attempted to reconstruct fingerprints from these videos. I mean that the videos are so close to the fingers that you can see almost every detail in 1080p/2160p so it could be feasible to do that.

        about 6 days ago from web
        • Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
        • @adiwan Yes, it can be done though 4K footage, however you need to go through it frame by frame and you need someone to make best guesses as this someone scetches the fingerprint.

          The real problem begins once we get 8K, people at Defcon estimate that is when you can get bots to scrouge entire video's en-masse looking for fingerprints, Kinda like how face-recognision software works in current era.

          about 6 days ago in context
          Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
      • Welp, I own a VR headset now.

        about 7 days ago from web
      • trungo2

        about 9 days ago from web
      • "What happened back there?"
        "I dunno Jerry, why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe? Oh wait, you cAAaan't. They blew up."

        about 7 days ago from web
      • Next time I’m gonna go over to California and papaya in THEIR salads, see how THEY like pulling down over fifty products from their shelves.

        about 14 days ago from web
      • Never ever I'll buy a SanDisk USB stick again. They get so uncomfortably hot that I'm not trusting its reliability over a longer time. I bought a cheaper stick and it barely heats up sitting idle in the USB port. The SanDisk one could be used to boil water, metaphorically speaking. I have two SanDisk sticks and this sample size gives me confidence to make this judgement not to buy anything from SanDisk ever again.

        about 7 days ago from web
      • I'm done. I've read about 6650 pages (average of 350 pages per book) within two weeks.

        about 7 days ago from web
      • Is there a program of some kind where I can give the dimensions of a room and add reverb to audio based on the calculations of those dimensions

        about 8 days ago from web
      • I have run YouTube without addblock for the better part of a week now, but this time I am not pressing my magic button to skip adds ( the one where you do not have to wait 5 seconds before it becomes active ) hoping to catch that glove commercial.

        But, no, I don't, ofcouse I wouldn't. Commercials are always annoying, Heck, if I told anyone that I have not seen the Game Of Thrones Officially Licenced Browser Game in a week people would probably go "Oh yeah, yeah, you are right. Guess their advertisement funding dried up"

        ( recommended watches : & the followup , total runtime, about 15 minutes )

        about 8 days ago from web