{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Rainbow Dash Network","provider_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/","type":"link","title":"iluvzfluttershy (iluvzfluttershy)'s status on Wednesday, 17-Oct-12 09:34:53 UTC","author_name":"iluvzfluttershy (iluvzfluttershy)","author_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/iluvzfluttershy","url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/notice\/2009489","html":"At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.\nAt a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI weapons of math instruction.\n"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.""}