{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Rainbow Dash Network","provider_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/","type":"link","title":"That wierd guy next door (maverick)'s status on Thursday, 31-Jan-13 01:02:52 UTC","author_name":"That wierd guy next door (maverick)","author_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/maverick","url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/notice\/2281315","html":"@<span class=\"vcard\"><a href=\"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/user\/2620\" class=\"url\" title=\"Dane Dychkowski\"><span class=\"fn nickname\">yodelerty<\/span><\/a><\/span> it's one of my great revelation moments where I fail at something so simple, sometimes the stupid things I do are because I feel happy and become careless. Then because of being happy, I am struck down with a very harsh reminder of reality. Then I recall all those moments. All the things I have done wrong, JUST due to my own stupidity or laziness. It's not avoidable, because no matter what I try already, I still go back to that same stupid, stupid me. I can barely do something simple without messing it up. I am not even disconnected from humanity, but I am disconnected from myself. I can't get myself to do things right. I can't even remember important things. MOST of my biggest problems are caused when I am happy. I don't even know why I putt around with this cherriesed up self of me. Because I don't want to give my family a bad name. When can I realize that something like that doesn't even matter. It's not even like they have made my life better"}