1.0 link Rainbow Dash Network http://rainbowdash.net/ Drew (drewdle) http://rainbowdash.net/drewdle http://rainbowdash.net/notice/206677 @<span class="vcard"><a href="http://rainbowdash.net/user/994" class="url"><span class="fn nickname">earflaps</span></a></span> I'll give feedback. There are no fundamental flaws or problems. I liked it. The things I would watch or experiment with are the dream sequence. I know it's meant to be from Twilight's perspective, but it does drag a bit in first person. If there was a way to keep this part in third person it would work better. Also, &quot;Pinkie was Pinkie&quot; works for those of us who know what Pinkie is usually like, but I just feel like it's a shrug to a character that doesn't necessarily need to be there. Unless she's going to do something more interesting or has a plot point to construct, it's just cluttering things somewhat. Those were the only two things that really leapt out at me.