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  1. MetalTao MetalTao

    Ok, so, I am writing a story, it is moving a long quite smoothly. But I wanted to share this passage with you, I am rather proud of it!
    "Under the darkened and deciduous night sky came the bombardment of heavy spheres of water and ice, slashing the bark and flaying small chips of leafs into the muddied road beneath where a large squad of soldiers were filled searching with bright flood lights from their flared horns. They seemed to be looking a bit desperately, shouting into the night by way of name. The most notable of these was a yellow Pegasus, she was leading the front and scouring the trees with bright brown eyes showing much ferocity as her vision was delving into the tree line in search of some one or something."

    Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:22:11 UTC from web
    1. Hotpotato Butterfingers Hotpotato Butterfingers

      @potatao >small chips of leafs

      Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:22:36 UTC from web
      1. MetalTao MetalTao

        @spoops Nice cawl!

        Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:24:05 UTC from web
      2. awlxaĺan awlxaĺan

        @spoops kind of gives the feeling of crisp, crumpled. Autumn.

        Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:26:35 UTC from web
        1. MetalTao MetalTao

          @hawloween Now I am unsure if I should change it...

          Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:27:26 UTC from web
          1. orungano orungano

            @potatao It should be leaves not leafs at the very least

            Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:28:30 UTC from web
            1. MetalTao MetalTao

              @monstertdi Got that changed in the story.

              Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:28:44 UTC from web
              1. orungano orungano

                @potatao Nice

                Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:28:56 UTC from web
    2. MetalTao MetalTao

      @potatao *fragments of leaves

      Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:24:37 UTC from web
    3. orungano orungano

      @potatao I don't think "pegasus" should be capitalised unless that's an MLP thing

      Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:24:50 UTC from web
      1. MetalTao MetalTao

        @monstertdi AYE!

        Saturday, 11-Oct-14 18:25:20 UTC from web