{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Rainbow Dash Network","provider_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/","type":"link","title":"The white void (hakupony)'s status on Saturday, 02-Jun-12 13:49:17 UTC","author_name":"The white void (hakupony)","author_url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/hakupony","url":"http:\/\/rainbowdash.net\/notice\/1481673","html":"@cajunbrony23<\/span><\/a><\/span> "As she seduces you, she toys\nwith your mind. Bending and\ntwisting it. She manipulates their\nminds until it snaps in two." Why do you change from second person to third person? it is confusing and if you don't want to express anything with it, that's not a good thing. "I felt the my world should end" the "the" seems wrong here. You could write "the world", "world", "my world" or "that my world"."}