1.0 link Rainbow Dash Network http://rainbowdash.net/ The white void (hakupony) http://rainbowdash.net/hakupony http://rainbowdash.net/notice/1481667 @<span class="vcard"><a href="http://rainbowdash.net/user/8634" class="url" title="christian"><span class="fn nickname">cajunbrony23</span></a></span> &quot;She only loves only there suffering, and their pain.&quot; I think you want to say &quot;their&quot; there. &quot;she seduces you, making you think she is the only means of living.&quot; That is a very strange pacing. The hard thing about poetry is melody and rythm - and your rythm seems random to me here.