1.0 link Rainbow Dash Network http://rainbowdash.net/ Pony (pony) http://rainbowdash.net/pony http://rainbowdash.net/notice/1588831 @<span class="vcard"><a href="http://rainbowdash.net/user/11855" class="url" title="The white void"><span class="fn nickname">hakupony</span></a></span> I've read about the 5 stages of mourning. I feel like I'm somewhere within stages 2-4. When my mental bargaining efforts fail I feel anger or depression. The thing is, I [i]could[/i] fulfill my fantasies, but the price is far too high. I dread the possibility, even the likelihood, that I might eventually choose to disregard the consequences and seek fulfillment. Anger leads me in this direction, which I often find preferable to depression. Maybe if i could cope with the depression better i'd be able to make it through to acceptance.