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 <version>1.0</version>
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 <provider_name>Rainbow Dash Network</provider_name>
 <provider_url>http://rainbowdash.net/</provider_url>
 <title>Gherkin ☑️ (thelastgherkin)'s status on Sunday, 03-Jul-11 20:23:40 UTC</title>
 <author_name>Gherkin ☑️ (thelastgherkin)</author_name>
 <author_url>http://rainbowdash.net/thelastgherkin</author_url>
 <url>http://rainbowdash.net/notice/242818</url>
 <html>Dear Princess Celestia.  Today I learned that if you cut your pizza into twice as many slices as usual and fold them over into a sandwich, you can eat twice as fast AND not burn the top of your mouth on the molten cheese.  Anyway, I was actually writing to you about my daily letters.  I know you're busy running the country and do not have chance to answer every one, so I was pleased with the response I received yesterday.  Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a restraining order!  Surely this is a mistake as I would never do anything to hurt you.  I assure you that the last time I saw you in person I was only trying to get a cutting of your hair, which smells so divine that I've stuffed a pillow with it.  Anyway, I've attached a photo of myself so you can see that I am not any kind of creepy stalker, and I assure you that all other parties in said photo were of age.  I look forward to hearing your hasty response.  Your faithful student, Jack the Last Gherkin.</html>
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