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 <provider_name>Rainbow Dash Network</provider_name>
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 <title>Gherkin ☑️ (thelastgherkin)'s status on Tuesday, 13-Jun-17 08:58:10 UTC</title>
 <author_name>Gherkin ☑️ (thelastgherkin)</author_name>
 <author_url>http://rainbowdash.net/thelastgherkin</author_url>
 <url>http://rainbowdash.net/notice/4893607</url>
 <html>Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop - you know the place - well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just PEACHY! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast.  BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT!  EVERY SINGLE MORNING! It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said, &amp;quot;Hey mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?&amp;quot; And my dear, sweet mother - she just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me and she said &amp;quot;IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!&amp;quot; And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old. That's when I swore that someday - someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place where the sun is always shin</html>
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