1.0 link Rainbow Dash Network http://rainbowdash.net/ Jordan Cameron (tenmihara) http://rainbowdash.net/tenmihara http://rainbowdash.net/notice/551174 @<span class="vcard"><a href="http://rainbowdash.net/user/3726" class="url" title="Joey Hurst"><span class="fn nickname">knoxemerald</span></a></span> So, first thing I'm noticing is that you do something I've been called out on for a few times before. You tend to repeat the same words (excluding things like 'it', 'the' and 'a') within the same phrases. For example, this sentence: &quot;The quiet atmosphere of the library was abruptly and temporarily destroyed by Twilight's hasty entrance (into the library)&quot; The part I put in brackets is somewhat redundant, as you already established that Twilight was entering the library