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I think my story will work now! http://rainbowdash.net/url/819130
Friday, 27-Feb-15 04:50:06 UTC from web-
@dibmembrane I have a complaint, the flow from powers to grandparents is a bit on the Wonky side, ideas need to flow from one to the other. You see, you mentioned two things in te first sentence, Explain one at a time, and, explain them chronologically.
You went from, "I have powers!" And Then wen, "I live with my grandparents." And explained the grandparents lives witjout explaining what came first, the powers. -
@metaltao ok thanks! I will work on that
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@dibmembrane Yo did a good job with the font and the format! I love it! reminds me of a real diary! ^3^
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@dibmembrane ANd, that is something Authors don't employ as often these days! Thanks for your ambition!
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