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I never argue, because I'm always right.
Friday, 05-Oct-12 06:22:56 UTC from StatusNet iPhone-
@ceruleanspark hugs. You seem to be hugging a lot lately
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@renovatedkitchen Yeah. I go through phases.
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@ceruleanspark makes sense. I want to stop pretending to be happy IRL, but then I would be like L. And people, everyone will think there is something wrong with me and keep asking.
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@ceruleanspark Dufe, I found a box of Quaker Chewey bars. It's a feast.
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@renovatedkitchen I dunno. Apart from the people I talked to IRL about my depression, nobody I saw on a regular basis actually noticed/cared, even when I was at absolute rock bottom, so they might not bother you about it. That said, there's supposed to be therapeutic value in pretending to be happy.
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@ceruleanspark it keeps my boss happy and is a perk for getting more hours at work. But I come home with a sore mouth from smiling. When I forget to smile, the people there joke about me going postal on them.
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@ceruleanspark This is because happiness is always a choice. People forget this because we are rarely conscious of the fact that we set requirements on what we will allow ourselves to feel happy about. But it does ultimately just boil down to having an internalized list of "I will feel happy if X" and trying, or hoping, to check off the items on it. Being aware of this still doesn't make it easy though. Tough decisions don't become any less so simply by knowing they are decisions. So I would guess that the reason that helps is probably because it can act as a way of teaching yourself how to be happy- taking a moment to convince yourself that you've checked off every item on your list and nothing in the world is bothering you, just to try to figure out what happiness even feels like.
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@toksyuryel "This is because happiness is always a choice."=="It is your own fault you're depressed".
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@ceruleanspark Thanks for not reading the rest of the post. I really appreciate it after I took the time to specifically explain that it doesn't mean that.
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@toksyuryel I did kind of oversimplify my point there. Sorry I gave the impression I didn't read it. However, the core of your supposition is still "You wouldn't be unhappy if you stopped doing X", which was what I was trying to get at. I have, for some time now, been striving to release myself from material attachment as part of my studies of buddhism and meditation, and I think it takes a rather narrow view of what causes unhappiness to suggest that running in place on the treadmill of life, striving for whatever "the next thing" is is the sole cause of a persons unhappiness.
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@ceruleanspark Actually the "core" of what I was saying is not that at all. I was trying to explain why I thought that exercise was helpful, because it attempts to help you to figure out what happiness feels like so that you can know what it even is you're looking for.
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@toksyuryel Seems like I misinterpreted it then. I've always characterised happiness as a very neutral emotion. As a feeling of contentment, where everything is OK, and you wouldn't want to change anything in the world.
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@ceruleanspark I think of that feeling as tranquility - when things are peaceful and my needs are meant abundantly, but happiness is the term I give for anything in the range of good feelings. I don't know what the word is actually supposed to mean though.
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@fluttershycanhardlyfly I tend to think of it as more of a continuum, with pure perfect joy/nirvana on one end, and the absolute suicidal depths of despair on the other. Vanilla happiness is only a "tier" above neutral emotion.
