@lightningcrash
Hamilton, Ohio
A lone pony trots along an empty dusty road. His wings furled back against his sides, he pushes on as the wind whips dirt into his face. He quests for two things: his purpose in life and a pony to share his heart with.
More details...Notices by Crash (lightningcrash), page 111
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@theawesomepony Just stupid sht.
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@colfax Yeah... but if you were driven to the point of absolutely needing to know, totally emotional, what would you have done?
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@theawesomepony What's up?
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@jinny I faked my own suicide... I gave them five minutes to convince me otherwise... some egged it on, some sort of cared, and only a couple fought passionately against it... Sonia said absolutely nothing during those five minutes. The whole time, the friend I'd skyped with was calling me, and each time I made sure to send him to insta-voicemail. After I declared I was doing it and stopped chatting, I let the phone ring all the way out. I had everyone convinced I was dead..... Sonia finally spoke up saying she didn't know what was going on because her connection was spotty in the hospital (she'd mentioned spotty connection before). I waited and watched and said nothing as people raged on the chat, mostly Sonia at the instigators. After ten minutes of raging, she said she was going to go suicidal herself (a trap?). At that point, I came back, apologized to everyone for it, but it convinced me that she really might be real... Damn me. I should go to hell for that.
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@jinny I needed to find out for myself what the truth was... I lurked for like half an hour, but that got me nowhere. So I took a more direct approach and began a discussion (in the public chat) with her. I pointed out all the facts that made me think it was all fake... Her and a few friends (one of which I've skyped with {who also got me her picture himself}) countered that down pretty fast with more vague or opinionated answers... it got to the point where, not knowing what else to do, I...
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Thursday, 27-Oct-11 15:22:55 UTC from web
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@jinny I don't think its that... I've confused myself further in the matter. I think I have it all sorted out, and before I know it, something happens and I'm plunged deeper into the maze than I ever was... I feel dispicable because I did something I shouldn't have last night.
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I do declare myself to be among friends once again.
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@taskmaster I listen to all kinds of stuff. Only stuff I dislike is rap and heavy metal. I've had stuff like I Gotta Feeling and other stuff on loop for like the past twelve hours.
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It is so difficult to convey emotions through my posts: each word must be chosen carefully and in the end it all either flops and confuses ponies or it adds up to express that
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@taskmaster So it does... I'll rp again tonight, assuming that there is somepony that will have me in the venture.
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@taskmaster I'm not that excited... I'm gonna be left to guard my house while my mom takes my sisters out... I'm going to be really alone that day.
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@pinhooves Good night my friend. I'm here for you whenever.
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@nerthos In my honest opinion, what's the use of knowledge without people to share it with? No, friendship and love are most valuable, at least to me. The problem is there are so many who would fake that@ and I just don't know what's real anymore.
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@taskmaster I wish I were... but sadly that is not the case. This nightmare of my life just doesn't want to end.
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@taskmaster It's a complicated mess that's extremely difficult to explain.
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@nerthos No, it isn't right... you should have seen how many I upset; Some egged it on, many cried "you idiot", Sonia (if that even is her name) was ready to go suicidal (maybe?), and a couple others were really hurt. I lost a lot of respect from people. And I think I only achieved to befuddle myself further.
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@macpony55 Help hasn't seem to work, really; just distracts me from the problem at hand rather than solves it. Thanks though.
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@nerthos *sends in a horde of science vessels to emp the base, then let the siege tanks mop up*
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I feel like such a dirtbag... faked my own suicide so I could find out the truth and seperate what's real from what's not. I paid a heavy price for it... prolly lost me a lot of friends... But if I hadn't, my mind would still be in chaos now. Hell, it still kind of is. My body is tearing itself apart trying to decide what is honest and true, a never-ending war between mind and heart. Most damnable plight, I should be cursed to hell for what I did. I had to trick so many, just to see if Sonia was real...
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@optimus This your first time on RDN?
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@pinhooves Your friends are here for you. If you need to talk, just ask and I will listen.
Thursday, 27-Oct-11 10:00:57 UTC from web -
@speedforce I never got into Flankbook. But I do try to split my time between here and RP. It just depends on if I'm wanted over there; I don't feel like posting all kinds of random #ooc stuff over there.
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Oh my @jinny . That just put me from an 8 on the happy scale straight to an 11. Thank you so much.
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@zach121k You don't have to feel like a waste of space. You're original; cannot be replaced. If you only knew what the future holds. After a hurricane comes a rainbow. Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect rose. And like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow. And when it's time you'll know.
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*doesn't know if he should intervene with @fluttershy321 & @zach121k or if he should just stay away*
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@jinny That's a big EENOPE. Him and his silly facebook games. So my phone will just have to do.
