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@jinny I faked my own suicide... I gave them five minutes to convince me otherwise... some egged it on, some sort of cared, and only a couple fought passionately against it... Sonia said absolutely nothing during those five minutes. The whole time, the friend I'd skyped with was calling me, and each time I made sure to send him to insta-voicemail. After I declared I was doing it and stopped chatting, I let the phone ring all the way out. I had everyone convinced I was dead..... Sonia finally spoke up saying she didn't know what was going on because her connection was spotty in the hospital (she'd mentioned spotty connection before). I waited and watched and said nothing as people raged on the chat, mostly Sonia at the instigators. After ten minutes of raging, she said she was going to go suicidal herself (a trap?). At that point, I came back, apologized to everyone for it, but it convinced me that she really might be real... Damn me. I should go to hell for that.
Thursday, 27-Oct-11 15:33:47 UTC from web-
@lightningcrash What you did was pretty stupid, but she still doesn't sound legit to me.
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@colfax Yeah... but if you were driven to the point of absolutely needing to know, totally emotional, what would you have done?
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@lightningcrash Yes, I agree with @colfax it was juvenile, but what's done is done. I'm still not convinced. I think you should just not worry about it and move on. I'm here for you !hugs you know i always am. I wouldn't torture yourself with all of this drama anyway, you deserve better than that.
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@lightningcrash Kick in a couple doors.
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@lightningcrash If something does happen to her, god forbid, from what you said she was preconditioned to it. You tried your best to be a good friend to her, and it just seemed to stab you in the back.
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@colfax @jinny @lightningcrash I'm agreeing with all here, whilst it was silly. You did what you needed to do, I'm not following this entire story, but from the parts that I do know this is all too fishy. As @jinny said, move on. Continuing this way is only going to make you worse, it's a hard thing to do, but it'll work out in the long run.
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@jinny I know what I did was wrong... I just didn't know what else to do. I really should go to hell for it... I made literally everyone there hate me. I feel so pathetic.
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@lightningcrash Bah, don't beat yourself up over it. It was silly yes, but hardly worth masochism. I don't hate you, no pony else here hates you. Buck up, but on your flank kickin' boots, and walk with pride. It's not like you caused the Holocaust or anything.
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@mrdragon I know... after Sunday, it won't matter anymore. It'll all be done with, one way or another. I really do regret what I did though.
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@jinny No, but I lost good friends, and that is just as bad. *chuckles* It's just my past repeating itself all over again. *starts to sing Hurt by Johnny Cash*
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@lightningcrash If they'd not be your friends over something so silly, then they're not truly friends. Don't worry about it. !hugs
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@lightningcrash The fact that you regret what you did is really the first step towards redeeming yourself - if not in the eyes of the people you upset, then at least in your own.
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@scribuscampbell Thank you... I often find I know what I have to do, but I end up not doing it. Why am I such a fool?
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@lightningcrash Because you're alive? Everyone does stupid things, in time you learn how to do fewer of them and make them less heavy-duty. I'm not going to try to say "everything will be fine" here, and it was a pretty big thing you did, but now you know much better and you can keep from doing that or anything like it again. :) It's progress, even if it does have a steep price.
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