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( shower thought ) The words "Bully" and phraise "he bullies me". Are they things that you're supposed to grow out of ? Well, yeah, probably. However can you put an arbitrary age on that ? I mean a 30 year old whining about bullies strikes me as a very disturbing thought indeed.
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@critialcloudkicker Having been bullied at an early age, and having also bullied others, I believe that bullying should only be curbed when it actually interferes with another person's daily life. Simple insults are tolerable; however, burning another's belongings is not.
To be honest, if I haven't been bullied at an early age, then I think I would be as mentally and emotionally strong as I am now. Being bullied was an implicitly good thing, though it never showed its benefits immediately.
So, I guess it's something a person grows out of.-
@gweentea This is what I believe in too pretty much. Then again if you or your stuff are assaulted/destroyed like in @vcgriffin 's example then we are no longer talking about bullying IMHO, that is taking it to a whole new level of something.
Regardless, I really think that bullying is a vital ( but nasty ) part of growing up that helps people develop in whom they become, especially what the "alpha beta omega gamma or sigma" designations are concerned.
The primary reason why I brought it up is because I have been approached IRL by someone's coach and have an appointment with this coach and the person she coaches regarding his claim that I bully him. Now I have done my homework and talked to my friends ( which intermingle with his friends somewhat ) and it turns out that he thinks I am a gossip because he heard me talking about his website without his presence. The problem ? We're both way past the age where you are supposed to "grow out of it"Sunday, 13-Mar-16 11:09:37 UTC from web-
@critialcloudkicker I might have screwed up the continuety a little bit there, my appologies @gweentea & @vcgriffin
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 11:21:04 UTC from web
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@critialcloudkicker Bullying occurs wherever people don't have the social economic means to stand up for themselves or be independent. This can occur on the playground, where we are more likely to accept it, where kids are learning how to get on in the world and interact with others.
But it is much kor likely to happen when we are older, in the workplace or in our communities, where we choose to ignore it, we choose to ignore it here because we expect adults to be able to stand up for themselves, even if they are totally unable to. We subscribe to this myth that all adults are equal but when we can quite plainly see that they are not. Offices and communities are just ‘real life’ version of school, but ones where power does matter, from line manages, bosses, community organizers. It happens more to adults because power really matters there.Saturday, 12-Mar-16 15:09:57 UTC from web-
@vcgriffin Workplace bullying is relatively common in the Unites States (I have seen it with my own eyes). It typically starts when an incompetent person (or people) views a highly competent worker as a threat. The incompetent bullies typically only have their jobs due to workplace politics. Their target is ruthlessly singled out, and the bullies go up the chain of command to get the target fired on trumped up accusations.
Saturday, 12-Mar-16 16:55:33 UTC from web -
@vcgriffin I agree with that, however I must simply add that there are probably more people out there who would rather avoid confrontation, or do not want to give up their free time to battle this so called "grownup power struggles".
Kids at school for instance do not have the power to change schools if they are bullied, however once they get to persuade their parents ( maybe by showing up home beaten into a pulp ) that they ARE being bullied it is in the power of the parents to do something about it, such as changing schools.
If you are the adult in your own life you get to make the desicions for your own. And most weigh the difficulty of picking up your stuff and moving to the drudges of having to deal with line managers, bosses, community organizers, and otherwise. The question is, is this bullying at work, or our own free will at work ?Sunday, 13-Mar-16 11:19:15 UTC from web-
@critialcloudkicker I think the difference is that adults are so much better at bullying each other than kids, it very rapidly moves from "Emotionally damaging" to "Actual crimes".
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 11:29:22 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark I agree with that, however, there is insurance against many forms of theft and crime. Although I would most certainly agree that if one of my co-workers steals my GF, I would deffinatly call that either bullying, or emotional warfare.
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 11:32:21 UTC from web-
@critialcloudkicker I think we are confusing, "Actual crimes" such as theft or physical violence, which can easily be picked up on and guarded against. Whereas most bullying, especially in the workplace is much more physiological, and people can't really stand up themselves in workplace situations, (I would argue that ‘is this bullying at work, or our own free will at work ?’ the very nature of needing having a job, means we don't have free will as classically put in labour relations and a job forces you to be there and not rock the boat)
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 12:12:39 UTC from web -
@critialcloudkicker 2/2 Bullying may be ‘a vital ( but nasty ) part of growing up that helps people develop in whom they become ‘and I totally agree with that, but there is always people who need the power relationships to carry on long after they themselves should have ‘grown out of them’
But when these power relationships are abused, and it goes unchecked (because its human behavior to join in on the bullying rather than call it out, and collective action is hard for fear of reprisals) It can easly go to far (see http://metro.co.uk/2016/02/08/council-worker-killed-herself-because-she-was-being-excessively-micromanaged-5669163/ ) it may be an extreme example but the ones I know about have all meant employes have had to seek help for stress / deperssionSunday, 13-Mar-16 12:12:46 UTC from web-
@vcgriffin Let's just say for the sake of arguement that this person found a way out of this psychological horror onset by bullying. ( note : I personally think that this is not a good "way out" or "sollution" to the problem at all ). However the problem I am having is that I do not think anyone should ever bully someone else in any way. But now it seems that someone thinks that I am the bully to this person. From what I have gathered sofar ( and I will have that discussion in like 8 hours with him and his coach ) it is because he thinks I am spreading gossip about him. Regardless on whether this is true or not ( I personally do not think so, unless praising and the likes is gossip ). Would I be to blame for the nights of sleep he has missed due to something I did without ill-intent ? Yet now this person uses terms like "bullying", which to me indicates I'm dealing with a really delicate flower ? If I do not want to bully, should I always wear proverbial fluffy mittens ?
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 12:28:56 UTC from web-
@critialcloudkicker It sounds like that person is seeking to control you, and being a dick about it by brining in terms like 'bulling' knowing it will get a more heavy reaction. Sounds like they are playing the system. Maybe its best to walk away (although, if they just are trying to get to do something they may use that against you as well)
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 12:35:13 UTC from web-
@vcgriffin Well, yeah, that sounds like him alright. But sending out your coach to talk me into sitting around a table with him kinda puts the nail to the coffin of shadyness. As such I was looking for some insight into the matter. I'll have the answer to the question "what does he want to accomplish" in like 7 hours, but in the very least I know there is nothing wrong with my moral compass.
Sunday, 13-Mar-16 12:46:37 UTC from web-
@critialcloudkicker Sounds like your compass is fine, and the guy has been infected by the dumb 'safe space' shtick.
With the general bullying thing, looks like I went off on a tangent based on what's going on locally.Sunday, 13-Mar-16 14:08:28 UTC from web
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@vcgriffin Also, I can't walk away from that appointment, for first that would look super shady ( like I have something to hide ), and because I am interested now on whether this person actually loses sleep if I say "He has made some pretty awesome minor websites, the only thing I dislike is his font and that he does not like CSS for some reason".
Also backing out of my word that I'd be there would not sit right with me personally.Sunday, 13-Mar-16 12:49:48 UTC from web
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