The white void (hakupony)'s status on Saturday, 02-Jun-12 14:04:20 UTC
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@cajunbrony23 I guess, "monters" is a typo. "I am not what they are. They hate and scorn me for it" You start every line with "they" - except the last one. This makes the last sentence to seem wrong. It feels like it was a lie or sarcasm. "And as they stand there laugh at me" why not laughing? "for what I choose to be" A very strong expression. I like that. "They mock me." You already established a strong picture which told just that. In addition, if you cut that sentence, you woul have room to rearrange where the lines end. "And I have no choice but to sit and watch." One thing to you personally: you always have a choice. But it is an impressive picture you use here.
