Drew (drewdle)'s status on Wednesday, 22-Jun-11 18:19:38 UTC
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@earflaps I'll give feedback. There are no fundamental flaws or problems. I liked it. The things I would watch or experiment with are the dream sequence. I know it's meant to be from Twilight's perspective, but it does drag a bit in first person. If there was a way to keep this part in third person it would work better. Also, "Pinkie was Pinkie" works for those of us who know what Pinkie is usually like, but I just feel like it's a shrug to a character that doesn't necessarily need to be there. Unless she's going to do something more interesting or has a plot point to construct, it's just cluttering things somewhat. Those were the only two things that really leapt out at me.
