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Matt

Once upon a time in the magical land of America... There were two brothers. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Obama controlled the day, and Romney governed the night. One day, Romney grew tired of how nobody appreciated the beauty that his night brought. "If you won't appreciate my night," he said, "How would 47% of Americans like ETERNAL night?!" So he plunged the country into eternal night. Utilizing the Elements of Democracy, Obama banished Romney to the moon. Obama now controls both the day and the night. Romney, however, claims that he will return on the eve of the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration. The end.