Matt (zeldatra)

Matt

Just saw some guy assert nativism is more rational today than it was in 1920 because Italians don’t commit crimes but Haitians do. Yeah man, totally. Not like there was a very infamous Italian crime syndicate that ran the east coast or anything like that

Matt

I share a birthday with Sydney Sweeney?? no wonder my dad hasn’t called

Matt

I was there when the towers fell folks, I was in the tower and I grabbed the fireman and he was crying and he said “thank you sir” and I used my hardened outer shell to jump down the stairwell as it was falling… it’s okay

Matt

when I was 10 I used to manage a website on FreeWebs that “hosted” (embedded videos hosted on another site) episodes of Futurama. In broadcast order, mind you, not the proper order. I wonder if it’s still up.

Matt

the plot of Persona 4 is that your classmates keep getting thrown into the tv dimension where they meet an evil version of theirself that’s just like “I’m RACIST!” all smug like and your friend is like “NO!!! I’m not a racist!!!!” and then the evil clone gets angry and you fight them and win and your friend is like “I’m sorry guys… I actually am racist… but that’s a part of who I am, and I have to accept it”, and then they get superpowers from saying that

Matt

Imagine getting called a Russian asset for eight years as an insult and then turning out to actually be one

Matt

seeing Tim Pool get indicted for his involvement in a $100k a week election subversion Russian money laundering scheme is a lot funnier when you realize it would’ve been perfectly legal if he gave the state department a heads up that he was doing so first

Matt

Me during my vacation: :)
Me paying my credit cards off after the vacation: >:(

Matt

it’s too bad the Persona 3 Remake didn’t change the setting to the modern day so we could hear Aigis say “sigma”

Matt

The new Beetlejuice Fanta has like the most sugar I’ve ever seen in a 16oz bottle of soda, they’re trying to send people to meet the guy himself I guess

Matt

plenty of candidates have debated well and then lost anyway - Mitt Romney immediately comes to mind - but considering how Trump was polling in June and how he's polling now, i think there's ample room to argue that he'd probably be better off now if Joe Biden WASN'T asleep the entire debate

Matt

very real chance that 2024 goes down in history as the first time that winning a debate caused a candidate to lose an election

Matt

i just wanna sue somebody man i was really proud of slipping that background gag in and NOBODY noticed it, i didn't even get ONE comment about it

Matt

wait do i sue Larry David for writing the op-ed about post-birth abortions or do i sue Donald Trump for insisting they're a thing or do i sue Ralph Northam, 73rd Governor of Virginia, for giving that weird interview that put the idea in everyone's head to begin with and causing me to inadvertently appear in the background on an NBC News report covering protests against him that one time when he did that other thing

Matt

suing Larry David for writing a Washington Post op-ed with the same premise as a joke that I have been telling for almost ten years now

Matt

to those who still wish to keep in touch when the sun swallows this website up: https://discord.gg/P72BESpVVD

Matt

England what the kiwi are these candies. Milkybar? Lion?? Haven’t you guys ever heard of damn M&Ms???

Matt

just like the bathroom in DC, so Matt has to pay $2 extra just to pee

Matt

and also you can’t step out to get a coffee because the coffee shop is just beyond the ticket gate

Matt

you ever take the wrong train from the airport and now you gotta act like you totally meant to come to this city with a suitcase just so you can sit on a bench and wait for the next train in the direction you just came from

Matt

Smh nobody in Lisbon Airport speaks English, this border crisis is really getting out of control, do better Kamala

Matt

Yeah wine on a plane sounds fancy until they bring it to you in a paper cup. Now you’re trash. I’m trash.

Matt

boy i sure did pick a fantastic time to come to england huh

Matt

not a fan of the toe cleavage these new Nike Dri-Fit socks give me

Matt

my last escort gave me a refund and told me not to ever call her again

Matt

I paid a license fee for Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” and then learned afterwards that the segment of the song was short enough that I didn’t actually need to pay anything, so now I have a song license I don’t need. No refunds!