Matt (zeldatra)

Matt

Just woke up from a dream that Elon Musk had developed a portable oxygen bubble that you could activate from your phone on a subscription model and on the day it launched the service drained the earth of all of its oxygen due to a programming fault, which led to only the people with the subscription being able to breathe and most others dying. Wrote every detail down because it’d make a great satirical disaster film. Back to sleep with me.

Matt

Plus there’s the town priest, his kid brother sidekick, the FBI agent who blackmails the main character into doing crimes for him, the President of the United States, myself who may or may not still be a horse from that one thing, the main character’s dead father, her half-brother… basically everyone except the main character and the local bartender. Aiming to cut that down at least by half once I have the resources, either after a successful television pitch or funding by some other means (Kickstarter?)

Matt

That sounds flippant - obviously if I had the time, money, and resources to find the very best person for these roles I would, because voicing 80% of the male voices myself - shockingly! - leads to a cast of people that all sound the same. The south Asian guy is gay and I also voice his boyfriend (a Republican congressman, because I’m inclusive :)), which means I’m also grapeing myself kind of a lot. I voice the main character’s best friend, who the south Asian guy hates, so on top of Fluffle Puffing myself, I also have to hate myself. It’s truly the worst form of MPD.

Matt

The dude from Master of Disguise is in my store right now pretending to be an Eastern European gambler who has no idea how to fill out a lottery card and is constantly getting something wrong no matter how many times the instructions are given to him.

Matt

I am an AMERICAN and should be able to come and go as I please, Britain is literally 1984, what kind of a democracy doesn’t welcome people from other societies with open arms, I can’t even imagine the kind of government that would subject people to this kind of mistreatment and

Matt

Been trying to look into moving to the UK so I can be in the same time zone as basically everyone I work with on YouTube but immigration laws are tight af there, might have to marry that girl I met in Peacehaven for citizenship.

Matt

Gonna ask Disney if we can do a crossover with The Cleveland Show

Matt

Was thinking about who I could get to voice Jesus in Swole Foods and realized I don’t have one (1) Jewish friend. These are the drawbacks to not being based in New York or Los Angeles like everyone else in my field.

Matt

School shooting yesterday at my best friend’s university. He had graduated earlier this year and thus was not on campus at the time but god dammit this banana needs to stop.

Matt

Kari Lake looks like one of my customers.

Matt

Democrats are doing WHAT

Matt

No votes are counted yet but I’ve already checked out of this year’s election. It’s been a foregone conclusion for two years. Did my part, voted two weeks ago, the rest ain’t my problem. Gonna play Sonic Frontiers tonight, get back to making cartoons tomorrow, and then do my part again two years from now.

Matt

If you’re in the UK (or have a VPN that lets you pretend you are) my friend Billie, who voiced Sebas in the final My Little Brony short and will be returning in the upcoming episodes of The Twin Souls, starred in a short that aired on BBC 4 earlier this evening. You can watch it on the iPlayer here: http://rainbowdash.net/url/876281 (the short starts at 17:27)

Matt

https://youtu.be/KNtxErUWDv8

Matt

https://youtu.be/sl9pTDK8PAk this was the only good episode of peter capaldi's run on doctor who

Matt

it's also kind of a generational thing: he's forty and came to America in the early 2000s. these days the younger generation is more likely to be able to speak Hindi because of the popularity of Bollywood films and Hindi music

Matt

I always thought he was trilingual, because in every store I worked in with him we had a lot of north Indian employees who spoke Hindi and he was able to communicate with them reasonably well, but the way he explained it to me is this: He can understand Hindi perfectly fine, as can most of his people, and they share some common words, but most people in Bangladesh have very little experience actually speaking it because the parts of India that border the country all also speak Bengali (or Bangla, depending on the area), and both countries use English for a variety of official purposes, so there's no practical reason to actually speak the language - hence, it comes out all broken and papayaed-up sounding.

Matt

i now have an excuse to completely half-ass that part of the performance

Matt

this would explain why he would throw English phrases into sentences whenever he spoke to my Indian coworker

Matt

i've been trying to teach myself a bit of Bengali and Hindi so that I can do it for this Bangladeshi character in Swole Foods and I'm only just now learning that my boss, who I based the character on, actually has an atrocious grasp on the Hindi language and the only reason I thought he was fluent was because I don't understand the language myself

Matt

Ok, that’s the SECOND time a wildly unpopular asshole President has lost re-election in as many years. Seems kind of suspicious?

Matt

grats to Brazil

Matt

Every day I thank god that Tumblr wasn’t around in the 70s, can you imagine the amount of twink Nixon fan art we’d be seeing?

Matt

Of course they decide to transfer me to a different store on a week where one of my assistants at the old store is on vacation, meaning my perfectly min-maxed schedule is ruined

Matt

imagine being the guy who made this call http://rainbowdash.net/url/876278

Matt

Driving to the county registrar today to vote early because I’m scheduled to work on Election Day. I run the department. I make my own schedules. I’m an idiot.

Matt

The Doctor: Claims to only hang out with cool people.
Also the Doctor: Lives in Wales

Matt

The Doctor: I'm going to be responsible now.
The Doctor, day one: Kidnaps a teenage girl and makes her travel with him to a planet of robots as a condition of her continued education