Michael (egnaroesroh)'s status on Wednesday, 19-Oct-11 11:51:12 UTC
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@rhetoricalpony I'd suggest that you start by answering things like "Who are PONI", "Where are they", etc. Also add more detail. Be it a battle, characters talking, whatever, describing things is far better than just saying they did it. Along with this, give your characters detail and characterization as well. While your character is a well known hero, that doesn't matter if your reader doesn't know that. For example(This is just an example), "He turned to a pink unicorn, the newest medic for squad 101. She looked around nervously, pawing the ground and turning every few moments. It was almost as if she would jump at the slightest word." or, "He turned to a pink unicorn, the newest medic for squad 101. Her eyes were wide with excitement. It almost looked as if she was in pain just sitting still. Every time a pony passed her, she looked crestfallen when they didn't stop to talk to her." Sorry I can't be more helpful with the story, it's hard since I don't know much halo lore.
