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  1. cabal cabal

    The Cabal has arrived.

    Monday, 04-Apr-11 23:23:56 UTC from web
    1. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Cool

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 19:56:51 UTC from web
    2. Phillip A McCrelesd Phillip A McCrelesd

      @pyravia was it fun

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 19:58:15 UTC from web
    3. Phillip A McCrelesd Phillip A McCrelesd

      @pyravia why would you go diving in windy and rainy weather

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:02:22 UTC from web
    4. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Sick. I'm too disgusted to go in... unsanitary water. *Shudders*

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:02:48 UTC from web
    5. Phillip A McCrelesd Phillip A McCrelesd

      @pyravia you have guts to do that

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:04:20 UTC from web
    6. Phillip A McCrelesd Phillip A McCrelesd

      @pyravia still you have guts my friend

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:08:34 UTC from web
    7. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Not a swimming pool with tons of chemicals= Too dirty for me ALSO FISH. FISH EWWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:08:42 UTC from web
    8. Phillip A McCrelesd Phillip A McCrelesd

      @pyravia I am scared now just to let you know

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:13:25 UTC from web
    9. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia I hate fish. Whether it be alive or dead.

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:13:29 UTC from web
    10. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia YOU remove them? *Points to Pinkie Pie*

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:13:50 UTC from web
    11. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia I'll most likely read it.

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:16:56 UTC from web
    12. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia I'll read it right now, mmkay?

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:20:12 UTC from web
    13. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Well right off the back, using me, the reader as the victim is sorta weird considering I'm reading it and you're putting words in my mouth which some people wouldn't say so I would have made a random victim but w/e

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:22:07 UTC from web
    14. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia I liked the ants part.

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:28:12 UTC from web
    15. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia The writing could be more refined but the ideas were pretty ok.

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:30:18 UTC from web
    16. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia BTW make a victim, don't make the reader a victim. Mmkay?

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:32:57 UTC from web
    17. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Well I would rather have more defined, personal dialogue than the standard, "Who what where why and PLEASE NO."

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:38:14 UTC from web
    18. mr. no mr. no

      @pyravia Well making the reader the victim is sorta just strange, and doesn't exactly help paint the picture, but when it's someone ELSE you're like, "Hhmm, SUCKS FOR THAT PERSON!" Then you get interested how they'll react and you could actually make a character that has their own distinct personally, which you could bring to life in the story, making it epic. I mean, we all read the standard: "Hey, where am I!" And then a knife out of nowhere, stabbing you in the back, making you struggle and squirm with the sharp knife toying with your nerves. But what if you made it unique? Like THIS: Greg was always a kid who always thought himself higher than the rest, but that all changed when he found himself on a cold, hard metal table, all his senses were already fading away, and he hasn't even has a clue about what's going on, "W-W-W-WHERE AM I?" He cried, as dark figure emerged from the depths of the shadows, "Doesn't matter, Greg. Because you're going to die here. And no one will care."

      Saturday, 08-Sep-12 20:49:20 UTC from web