Sir Chesterfield Buttington (wollap)

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

I really wish I had more bellybuttons. THEN I COULD BE A ROBOT.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

Aw lads.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to count all the stars in the sky. This is because there are no stars in the sky. They are all in space.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

Contrary to popular belief, beards are not a natural occurrence. All bearded people are part of a secret cult that utilizes witchcraft and voodoo to grow hair on their faces.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

After earth's oceans evaporated, pirates moved to the mainland. They became the first cowboys and still maintain control of the Rocky Mountains with their leader, Bullwinkle.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

The chain of a monocle is actually a fanciness amplification device. When connected to the Cerebral Lasagna in the brain, it makes the user 20% fancier.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

In Australia, it is illegal for a kangaroo to remain emperor for more than half a term.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

The only external file I am reading from are my spaghetti-O's.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

Contrary to popular scientific belief, holes in the bottom of coffee cups are not accidents. Instead, it is an attempt by Mother Earth to steal as much coffee as possible and use it as a substitute for magma, as coffee is much more delicious.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

Paper bags were originally invented by the Vikings, which they used as disguises for their invasion of Rome.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

The reason people wear more clothes in winter and less in summer is because in the heat of the sun, sheep shrink to microscopic levels.

Sir Chesterfield Buttington

In the past, the earth was believed to be flat and at the center of the universe. Today, it is believed to be round and orbiting the sun. In the future, it will be banana-shaped and doing the tango around the Death Star.