Narwhal (narwhal)'s status on Monday, 01-Feb-16 22:26:05 UTC
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@thelastgherkin That was a fun read! Strong command of tension, well contained, and the dialogue was consistently great. I liked how well you were able to convey the interiority of the various characters in the scene through little quirks in their speech, like how Gyconi's confidence was owning the scene initially but as it progressed that dynamic shifted as you moved from character to character. As a personal criticism (which may just come from my lack of knowledge regarding the source material) I would've liked to have been given a greater understanding as a reader of the space the characters were occupying in the scene. The blocking was present, but the staging was a bit absent, so there was a lot of filling in the blanks in regards to my spatial awareness of the text. Other than that though, I had a great time with it, thanks for sharing!
