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I finished writing that thing and I think both @northernnarwhal and @scribus had a passing interest in it? http://pny.lv/06goo
Monday, 01-Feb-16 21:59:24 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Sweet, reading this now
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@thelastgherkin That was a fun read! Strong command of tension, well contained, and the dialogue was consistently great. I liked how well you were able to convey the interiority of the various characters in the scene through little quirks in their speech, like how Gyconi's confidence was owning the scene initially but as it progressed that dynamic shifted as you moved from character to character. As a personal criticism (which may just come from my lack of knowledge regarding the source material) I would've liked to have been given a greater understanding as a reader of the space the characters were occupying in the scene. The blocking was present, but the staging was a bit absent, so there was a lot of filling in the blanks in regards to my spatial awareness of the text. Other than that though, I had a great time with it, thanks for sharing!
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@northernnarwhal Great stuff! Scene and staging descriptions were (mostly) deliberate omissions since it was written for Transformers fans and anything more than vague descriptions of which Decepticons are involved would give away bits of humour, the punchline in particular (). But apart from that, that's some valuable tips if I ever want to start writing for "entry-level" fans. Thanks!
Monday, 01-Feb-16 22:33:42 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Ah, that certainly makes those choices much more understandable in retrospect, and confirms my suspicions in regards to why those details were omitted in the first place. Keep up the good work!
Monday, 01-Feb-16 22:43:33 UTC from web
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