Matt (zeldatra)

  1. I hear Kanye’s playing Jesus in Mel Gibson’s Passion sequel.

    about 6 days ago from web
  2. I own the least profitable company in the entire state (as in it does not profit at all and in fact bleeds money) which is great for taxes but not great for convincing people you know what you’re doing

    about 9 days ago from web in context
  3. The Simpsons still does episodes where Ned is emo about his dead wife even though I’m pretty sure most current casual viewers have never seen an episode where either of his dead wives appears.

    about 10 days ago from web
  4. @nerthos and what was he doing there then? http://rainbowdash.net/url/876713

    about 13 days ago from web in context
  5. I learned recently that I have near identical political views to Daniel Tosh. If I said this fourteen years ago you guys would’ve dog piled me on Skype.

    about 14 days ago from web in context
  6. Also I can verifiably say I was one of the pope’s first six thousand followers on Twitter, this should make me eligible to be a bishop

    about 14 days ago from web in context
  7. There is nothing inherently funny about the new pope being from Chicago, so why did I start cracking up when I read it

    about 14 days ago from web
  8. I know this is going to come off like some lame joke, but today I watched White House security wave in two 20-somethings in suits riding Razer scooters into the drive

    about 15 days ago from web in context
  9. I started properly dieting instead of half-assing. This kiwi SUCKS!!!!

    about 20 days ago from web
  10. 18 naked cowboys filing for bankruptcy because tariffs are hurting small businesses
    Ram ranch is under foreclosure

    about 21 days ago from web in context
  11. the day Adobe kills the SWF format altogether I am kiwied, everything I do now is layers upon layers of SWFs composited together and I don’t know if I’m capable of learning new ways

    about a month ago from web
  12. @adiwan I’ve received offers from Manscaped before and had to go “really man? You think cartoon viewers wanna hear about me shaving my junk?”

    about a month ago from web in context
  13. always feels good when your background check comes back and says “not a sex offender”. gonna put that on my resume.

    about a month ago from web in context
  14. getting a second job to fund my addiction to Red Bull. 2007 is BACK

    about a month ago from web
  15. right wing grifting is too hard man, you gotta get up on time and sit in front of a microphone for two hours each business day to record a podcast where you just read outrageous headlines on your smartphone and that is just too much work

    about a month ago from web in context
  16. I need to get in on a right wing grift man. I am choosing to be poor over here.

    about a month ago from web
  17. I’m relatively isolated from internet drama these days but when the current Drama involves my MCN while I’m working with them to get my channel back in shape that annoys me just a bit. everybody around me please behave

    about a month ago from web
  18. i only upgrade my phone if i can do it in such a way that it would be free or if my old phone gets so old it's cumbersome to use. what this means is every time i get a new phone i'm amazed by features that were actually added three models ago. did you guys hear about this "Siri" thing? crazy

    about a month ago from web
  19. @scribus western Maryland and the Baltimore-DC area may well be in two different parts of the country if I’m being honest.

    about a month ago from web in context
  20. @scribus one time I was driving around Holland with a friend and his local friend. I commented on how flat everything was. Dutch dude mentions that we’re technically below sea level, then looks at me and goes, “Netherlands means ‘lower countries’”. I go, “but we’re in the north”. Nobody found it quite as funny as I did.

    about a month ago from web in context
  21. The Minecraft movie is not good, but I laughed a lot

    about a month ago from web in context
  22. anyway anyone up for London broil and Vermont cheddar?

    about 2 months ago from web
  23. at 27 years old it has occurred to me that I don’t HAVE to make boring sandwiches, I can just choose to buy something more interesting at the deli instead of the Potato Knishes I normally get

    about 2 months ago from web in context
  24. To be perfectly honest with you crashing the stock market was just about my biggest hope for Trump, I just didn't expect him to do it in three months. Cheers to my brand new stock portfolio! ...once things cool down.

    about 2 months ago from web in context
  25. Very good chance this pilot will be fully boarded by the end of the summer.

    about 2 months ago from web
  26. @zeldatra *war protest

    about 2 months ago from web in context
  27. Nobody does war songs like the Irish, prove me wrong

    about 2 months ago from web in context
  28. The other day during Steam’s little demo showcase I downloaded a few demos. Today I tried out “Promise Mascot Agency”, a cute little open world mascot management sim/casual collectathon where the bulk of the gameplay is driving around in a Kei truck and talking to sentient mascots. Also the main character, completely by coincidence, is an ex-yakuza voiced by Takaya Kuroda (Kazuma Kiryu).

    about 2 months ago from web in context
  29. Looking online for an EDM remix of a particular Sonic track for a scene in a cartoon. Found exactly one. The author has not uploaded since 2017 and left no contact email. FML.

    about 2 months ago from web
  30. Stock market’s down? Egg prices at an all-time high? Your wife is suddenly gone? Say buddy, is everything alright there, you grade A moron?

    about 2 months ago from web