Matt (zeldatra)

Matt

I only use Uber when I’m out of the country so my Uber Eats emails all list deals in pounds instead of dollars

Matt

I’m not proud of this but I’ve been playing the Gex Trilogy for most of the night

Matt

just voted. Tactically, both of the men I supported are black, which removes the possibility of me having accidentally platformed a guy who did blackface… again…

Matt

http://rainbowdash.net/url/876717

Matt

TIL that I am related to Kenny Rogers. …why didn’t I get any money

Matt

in case anyone is wondering how Trump’s military parade is going: there were actively more people in DC when I was there yesterday than there are tonight.

Matt

needed to do a last minute safety inspection of my car (no good reason, I just straight up forgot) and while looking into wait times I saw that the state has laws against pulling people over for expired stickers less than four months out.

They should not have told me that.

Matt

I gotta say… every time I see an F-150 in DC I gotta ask wtf these dudes are doing

Matt

I suppose with that remake on the way now would be a good time to make the Persona 4 short i wrote months ago but i actually hate the script now so I don’t wanna

Matt

The pharmacist keeps telling me she gave an android device to “the lady with the jihad”. I think she’s trying to say “hijab”.

Matt

navigating the leasing website for my new apartment is more painful than childbirth

Matt

I hear Kanye’s playing Jesus in Mel Gibson’s Passion sequel.

Matt

I own the least profitable company in the entire state (as in it does not profit at all and in fact bleeds money) which is great for taxes but not great for convincing people you know what you’re doing

Matt

The Simpsons still does episodes where Ned is emo about his dead wife even though I’m pretty sure most current casual viewers have never seen an episode where either of his dead wives appears.

Matt

I learned recently that I have near identical political views to Daniel Tosh. If I said this fourteen years ago you guys would’ve dog piled me on Skype.

Matt

Also I can verifiably say I was one of the pope’s first six thousand followers on Twitter, this should make me eligible to be a bishop

Matt

There is nothing inherently funny about the new pope being from Chicago, so why did I start cracking up when I read it

Matt

I know this is going to come off like some lame joke, but today I watched White House security wave in two 20-somethings in suits riding Razer scooters into the drive

Matt

I started properly dieting instead of half-assing. This kiwi SUCKS!!!!

Matt

18 naked cowboys filing for bankruptcy because tariffs are hurting small businesses
Ram ranch is under foreclosure

Matt

the day Adobe kills the SWF format altogether I am kiwied, everything I do now is layers upon layers of SWFs composited together and I don’t know if I’m capable of learning new ways

Matt

always feels good when your background check comes back and says “not a sex offender”. gonna put that on my resume.

Matt

getting a second job to fund my addiction to Red Bull. 2007 is BACK

Matt

right wing grifting is too hard man, you gotta get up on time and sit in front of a microphone for two hours each business day to record a podcast where you just read outrageous headlines on your smartphone and that is just too much work

Matt

I need to get in on a right wing grift man. I am choosing to be poor over here.

Matt

I’m relatively isolated from internet drama these days but when the current Drama involves my MCN while I’m working with them to get my channel back in shape that annoys me just a bit. everybody around me please behave