ElleJay Volpe Hamilton's home timeline
Notices
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It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife
Tuesday, 04-Jul-17 20:43:11 UTC from web-
@scribus I mean, you could probably kill a man with just the combined weight of ten thousand spoons, which is approx. 250kg
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@thelastgherkin You would not believe your doom / If it was ten-thousand spoons~~
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takeshitakenji likes this.
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Happy American New Year
Tuesday, 04-Jul-17 17:03:29 UTC from web- takeshitakenji likes this.
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Eat at Joe's
Tuesday, 04-Jul-17 16:48:45 UTC from web -
Celadon is not the color I thought
Monday, 03-Jul-17 19:42:34 UTC from web-
@scribus A clever mnemonic device for remembering colour names is that the colours are usually the same as the word used to describe them
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Somehow malaproposed "Bowie and Jagger" into "Bauer and Jeggie"
Monday, 03-Jul-17 18:39:17 UTC from web- Scribus likes this.
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No fear
Stringent analysis of everything you've ever made revealing a secret fetish even you didn't know you had
One fearSunday, 02-Jul-17 20:46:56 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin relatable
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I can't believe this My Little Pony episode has a guy named Finger Bangs
Saturday, 01-Jul-17 12:13:14 UTC from web -
I had three bugs fly directly into my eye on my way back home. Bugs, why you gotta be like that
Friday, 30-Jun-17 15:12:11 UTC from web -
Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?
Thursday, 29-Jun-17 07:14:40 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Isn't that a Bender quote? (It's a crying shame Futurama was canceled.)
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My only comfort is that the perverted infant Baby Sinclair from ABC’s Dinosaurs, sits rotting in a sunless jail cell, chained to the wall where he belongs. May he never see the light of day again
Wednesday, 28-Jun-17 21:16:59 UTC from web- Scribus likes this.
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Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist.
Wednesday, 28-Jun-17 10:39:25 UTC from web -
Happy birthday @scribus! http://rainbowdash.net/url/859919
Tuesday, 27-Jun-17 21:37:14 UTC from web- Scribus likes this.
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Tuesday, 27-Jun-17 12:57:31 UTC from web -
Monday, 26-Jun-17 22:18:35 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin 2012 called, it wants its joke back
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@mrmattimation The 1990s called, and they want their "Somebody called and wants something back" joke back
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@thelastgherkin The 1980s called, you're gay
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Who is Big Gay
Monday, 26-Jun-17 09:25:51 UTC from web -
I had a dream that Twilight Sparkle was invited to a political conference to give a talk about friendship but she didn't want to go so instead of a speech she sang a song that inspired everyone to becoming anarchist protesters so she could hide in her expensive hotel room and watch loud porn on her laptop
Monday, 26-Jun-17 09:01:53 UTC from web -
I don't want to sound racist, but bronies are becoming a minority on their own social network
Sunday, 25-Jun-17 18:03:35 UTC from web- awlxaĺan likes this.
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So basically, Bronysquare and Ponysquare are closing down because the brony fandom is more-or-less dead, and even though the show still has fans, there just aren't that many legitimate bronies anymore.
You know what that means? Being a brony is cool again guys, break out the plushies and the unsettling cosplays!Saturday, 24-Jun-17 22:48:56 UTC from web-
@actualrudolph delete me
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@actualrudolph (distant sounds of clopping)
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I certainly hope I'm cooked properly, because I am teeming with parasites
Thursday, 22-Jun-17 15:56:17 UTC from web- takeshitakenji likes this.
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You: totes mcgroats
Me, an intellectual: totally mcgroatallyThursday, 22-Jun-17 15:01:26 UTC from web -
Has My Little Pony ever had a magician named Hay Presto
Wednesday, 21-Jun-17 20:46:49 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin but he was decidedly not italian
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@zennx If you're talking about that grapein Moochick I s2g
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Chip vs Dale
Wednesday, 21-Jun-17 18:10:57 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Close. Rescue Rangers is called here "Chip und Chap - Die Ritter des Rechts" (Chip and Chap - The Knights of Justice).
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@adiwan That seems... evocative
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@thelastgherkin I guess since it's a show for children and they know no English the title "Rescue Rangers" had to be changed (also for the R/R logo). There is not really a snappy and alliterative alternative in German for that. There are a ton of Disney characters that had also their names changed for lesser reasons. Scrooge McDuck is here "Dagobert Duck". Launchpad McQuack is simply just "Quack" (sometimes with the addition of "der Bruchpilot (the crash pilot)). But the show is also called here "DuckTales"... Localization! A weird world of wacky words.
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Has anyone ever effed without blinding or vice versa
Wednesday, 21-Jun-17 18:14:06 UTC from web -
Howdy neighbour it's a hot one tod-- (spontaneously combusts)
Wednesday, 21-Jun-17 17:34:02 UTC from web- Scribus likes this.
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@thelastgherkin sunshine, on my shouuuuulders, makes me~~ *gets punched*
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@awl In a bag
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Take off all your preppy clothes
Wednesday, 21-Jun-17 08:40:01 UTC from web -
You: Happy Father's Day
Me, an intellectual: daddyMonday, 19-Jun-17 08:11:20 UTC from web -
Last night in D&D I kept using my Deck of Illusions inappropriately, at one point conjuring up a Hill Giant that I named Biggo. But since we then had to climb a mountain range, as soon as Biggo got 120ft away he dispelled. I turned back and whispered "I love you", and he grumbled "Supermaaaaaan..." It was both sadder and funnier than the end of the Iron Giant.
Sunday, 18-Jun-17 10:02:49 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin jesus FrankerZing christ dude
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@thelastgherkin Our wizard used the Deck of Illusions to cast an illusion (a beholder) on the Lightning Rail tracks (a magical train that hovers in the air and is hold up by magic stones in the ground that shoot lightning) in order to stop the train because the tracks were supposedly manipulated by a Sherlock Holmes type detective gone full Moriarty. However the breaks were manipulated instead and thus the train was unable to stop and ran over the beholder illusion. We used a fly spell to get on the train and our sorcerer blasted a level 5 scorching ray and killed the lightning elemental in one round (5 individual attacks, two were crit with almost max damage rolls, and the rest were also high damage rolls). The train "rolled" safely into the train station with a huge melted whole in the front.
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Eat at Joe's
Friday, 16-Jun-17 16:15:40 UTC from web -
I dreamed of a Mario game where you had to decide which Mario characters would board in which hotels while on holiday and whichever one had Waluigi would kick him out after he wrecked up the place
Friday, 16-Jun-17 09:02:59 UTC from web -
http://pny.lv/1m9t3 this is a copy of the first animated gif ever uploaded to the internet.
Thursday, 15-Jun-17 18:10:39 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark I'm pretty sure the first gif was the dancing baby
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