David Langton's home timeline
Notices
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A speaker was called upon to give a presentation about world poverty. They chose to begin by standing on stage and clicking their fingers every three seconds.
Click. 1, 2, 3, click. 1, 2, 3, click.
After a while, they added, "Every time I click my fingers, a child dies."
An audience member shouted, ""Wednesday, 22-Nov-17 09:13:53 UTC from web -
Spinal hygiene
Tuesday, 21-Nov-17 09:07:57 UTC from web -
"DURRR I'M GONNA LEAVE A SIGNATURE SO THE POLICE KNOW WHO TO ARREST"
Monday, 20-Nov-17 19:59:56 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation After all, that's how they caught the Zodiac Killer!
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@ceruleanspark or me for that matter. Wait
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"Robert Mugabe" has the same amount of syllables as "Eleanor Rigby" thanks
Monday, 20-Nov-17 08:09:50 UTC from web -
So far Alabama is proving that if given the choice between a child molestor and a Democrat, they would elect the child molestor. Maybe stop sucking so hard, Alabama?
Sunday, 19-Nov-17 23:09:25 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation If he'd been sucking less, he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
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Is Achewood's Roast Beef the most relateable character in fiction?
Saturday, 18-Nov-17 23:26:48 UTC from web -
I will say that the sloth scenes were bad and Clawhauser is overrated
Saturday, 18-Nov-17 14:53:50 UTC from web-
@tiff Yeah that's the sound
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@ceruleanspark Obnoxygen
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A Transformer being released later this month has "MAGA" printed on him in a substitution cipher. http://rainbowdash.net/url/864143
Friday, 17-Nov-17 10:34:11 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin The transformer knows krav maga.
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Is this the nerdiest URL I've ever seen? http://rainbowdash.net/url/864134
Friday, 17-Nov-17 10:12:27 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin got a Zalgo feel.
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The Punisher is out.
Friday, 17-Nov-17 09:04:28 UTC from web-
@adiwan I'm happy for him http://rainbowdash.net/url/864130
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@thelastgherkin This pun... it kills me.
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In my group's next D&D campaign I'll own a tavern. I'll name it "The Drunk Unicorn".
Wednesday, 15-Nov-17 21:32:23 UTC from web-
@adiwan My friend once accidentally named dozens of D&D locations after foodstuffs
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Good lord, what is going on in there?
Tuesday, 14-Nov-17 20:43:05 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark horse puns
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Justice League more like Justice Leave
Tuesday, 14-Nov-17 19:32:38 UTC from web -
I wasn't expecting a My Little Pony episode where Iron Will pimps out Twilight on a zeppelin
Tuesday, 14-Nov-17 11:31:49 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin 10/10 You can call Iron Will, Iron Will!
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Oh, my gosh, you guys. Have you heard about these rage faces? They're like emojis for the internet! Mark my words, this is going to revolutionise Gherkin communication from this moment forward http://rainbowdash.net/url/864008
Tuesday, 14-Nov-17 09:24:34 UTC from web- kat likes this.
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Tuesday, 14-Nov-17 00:22:17 UTC from web -
can all of you Alt Right Bros please help me see the logic in purchasing Keurig machines as revenge for Keurig pulling ads from Hannity's show
Sunday, 12-Nov-17 22:41:14 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation it's the same logic as the guy who claims he decided that he hated women the day his mom tried to make him take diarrhea medicine and so he cherry his pants in retaliation (true story)
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@tiff And that guy grew up to be Tiff
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@thelastgherkin that's not true
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The Lion King 2 is everyone's second favourite Lion King film
Saturday, 11-Nov-17 21:28:06 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin it's my favorite, how about that you pubic clod
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@thelastgherkin Your favorite is probably The Lion King 1.5
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@adiwan That movie doesn't exist! http://rainbowdash.net/url/864000
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(Neil DeGrasse Typewriter voice) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's nose light would reflect back off the fog and actually decrease visibility
Sunday, 12-Nov-17 22:43:26 UTC from web -
anybody who defends the abuse of a child should most certainly kill themselves
Friday, 10-Nov-17 23:17:15 UTC from web-
@tiff What if the child is Hitler
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@ceruleanspark hitler isn't real
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@ceruleanspark the holocaust didn't happen (but it should have)
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http://pny.lv/2cj6o GAZE INTO THE IRIS
Friday, 10-Nov-17 22:58:08 UTC from web -
(to straight couple) Which of you is the Baman and which is the Piderman
Friday, 10-Nov-17 21:53:57 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Which of you is the hotdog and which of you is the hamburger
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Shifting uncomfortably in my chair at this Supergirl episode featuring a team of black actors talking about how the Whites are their enemy
Friday, 10-Nov-17 19:52:01 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin I assumed you've seen the complete episode.
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@adiwan And now I have - from the phrasing it sounded like the whole thing was a setup and that he wasn't the real dad or whatever.
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@thelastgherkin That aspect wasn't so bad. The acting was on the more melodramatic side of the spectrum.
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Like and subscribe if you think my Shakira impression is not racist
Friday, 10-Nov-17 09:17:07 UTC from web -
Thursday, 09-Nov-17 16:50:35 UTC from web
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@thelastgherkin I'm going to bed now
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I have learned that if you have a mustache and wear a green sweater to work people will call you Ned Flanders
Tuesday, 07-Nov-17 21:17:22 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark or “furry Statusnet instance admin”
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@awl I can't believe you'd call me a statusnet admin you cuck
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@ceruleanspark sentences to death by gnu-gnu
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would u smash tikal the echidna y/n
Tuesday, 07-Nov-17 15:55:35 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation @redenchilada who is "Not a furry" actually would.
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Sprinkler tank
Monday, 06-Nov-17 07:41:12 UTC from web -
Why are they called fireworks and not firefuns
Sunday, 05-Nov-17 20:17:14 UTC from web -
Tower of Babybel
Sunday, 05-Nov-17 17:36:14 UTC from web
