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So a black guy walks into a bar, and the bartender goes "What can I get you?" And the black guy says "Oh, just a glass of Coors." And he gets the drink and pays for it, thanks the bartender, and leaves. The bartender then exaggerates the encounter and uses it as a part of his stand-up routine.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:26:54 UTC from web -
So a black guy and a Jew are eating lunch together and the Jew picks up the bill like any good person would. It's funny because a Jew would never pick up a tab.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:32:14 UTC from web -
Man, I dunno what it is about sub sandwich shops, but the employees are always SUPER hard workers.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:24:05 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Unless you go to subway
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The sandwiches here are good but there's no Wi-Fi 0/10
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:22:02 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation And they call themselves an eating establishment?
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Have a yaoi https://31.media.tumblr.com/1f6a3fb4ec39162db76cbc53d095fef8/tumblr_myu5wypB6k1qddaj9o1_1280.png
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:14:28 UTC from web-
@derpy128 Hehe
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Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a murdock. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:12:34 UTC from web -
Benches ain't apples but a hose and tricks. So here are some nuts, and a guy named dick.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:11:27 UTC from web -
A Gyro would hit the spot, but the only gyro shop in this area I've found worth its salt is 15 miles away.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:57:54 UTC from web-
@spots Awl the way.
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@saintnichawlas *awlready
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I wish there was a Jersey Mike's across the street as well, because that's even better. The closest one is like a half-hour walk.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:03:24 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Ah yes they are great. The lube tech who got fired for no good reason half a year ago introduced me to them.
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@saintnichawlas >tfw "lube tech"
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I had a dream Doctor Who got canned because nobody liked Peter Capaldi.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 18:04:33 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin That wasn't a dream.
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Heading across the street to grab a sandwich. bbl ily bbbff
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:55:11 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Oh hell no. That ain't local. There are twelve of them in Columbia alone.
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If you're having streaming problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but twitch ain't one.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:58:06 UTC from web -
If you have piranha problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but those fish ain't one.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:55:37 UTC from web -
If you have coding problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 bugs, but a glitch ain't one.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:52:14 UTC from web- Sarah Anne Smith likes this.
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If you're having hook-up problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems, but a hitch ain't one.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:50:39 UTC from web -
If you're having electrical problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:49:11 UTC from web -
One of the apartment residents is still chilling out in that hot tub. There is snow outside, you're going to freeze, lady.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:43:17 UTC from web-
@saintnichawlas br(illi)ant
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Is it just me or is trivia crack really just crack without any of the productivity?
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:43:05 UTC from web -
My sim's girlfriend's name is Calista Fuchs. She also has the Romance aspiration. Coincidence?????
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:40:01 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation No because you created that.
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@derpy128 Except no, she was a randomly generated NPC who lived in the apartment upstairs.
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@mrmattimation I'm too much a porsche fan to see anything but "Fuchs wheels" when seeing the word.
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I had a dream last night that I went fishing with a furry.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:40:01 UTC from web -
So my friends and I are going to start a comedy rap group called Pizzle420
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:37:26 UTC from web -
bananasING WHITE PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:33:20 UTC from web -
What's my logic behind making the boys the races that they are? Weelllllll...
Cartman is an Earth Pony, obviously, because he's so fat and would never be able to fly, and he's not smart enough to do magic.
Stan is a Pegasus because he's athletic and plays football and stuff.
And Kyle's a Unicorn because Jews are smart.
Haven't decided what Kenny is yet.Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:26:40 UTC from web- RDN's Lucifer likes this.
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@thelastgherkin Oh yeah that's right
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@thelastgherkin So he actually is an alicorn princess.
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@mrmattimation I think that could be part of the joke. You're never quite sure what type of pony he is.
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How many Conservatives dose it take to screw in a a lightbulb? None. If the government would just stay out of it the lightbulb will screw itself in.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:23:58 UTC from web -
Did homosexuality kill off the dinosaurs?
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:16:07 UTC from web-
@scribus Yes. Hsvfent you heard the song? "Barney's a gay dinosaur from our imagination..."
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@thelastgherkin Just like the republicans.
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Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:14:45 UTC from web -
IIIIII'm headin' on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind. http://rainbowdash.net/url/813878
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:12:13 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
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GET OFF MY HOOD SONIC!
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:12:24 UTC from web -
Maybe we're just making homage to the origin of the word Derp.
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 17:11:22 UTC from web-
@saintnichawlas Me.
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@saintnichawlas Bye
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we can collectively agree that fluttershy sucks right
Sunday, 14-Dec-14 16:51:36 UTC from web- Scribus repeated this.
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@saintnichawlas oh yeah. lol
