Ruby D. V. Quill's home timeline
Notices
-
...Hutz specifically is on my mind because the voice I’m doing for one of the Swole Foods regulars is just a Phil Hartman impersonation and I was practicing the voice today.
Thursday, 24-Oct-19 00:59:25 UTC from web -
Lionel Hutz would be a better defense attorney than Rudy Giuliani.
Thursday, 24-Oct-19 00:55:11 UTC from web- Scribus likes this.
-
If the 2020 Democrat does not use “Make America Great Again” as her slogan, the comedian in me will force me to vote against her in protest of missing such an easy opportunity.
Tuesday, 22-Oct-19 19:46:48 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation I noticed the "Keep America Great" hanging on a housemate's rack and I just wondered how anyone could possibly believe that anything changed for the better over this presidency
-
@thismightbeauser I do notice most of the people who wave that stuff around tend to be regular rank-and-file Republicans anyway. The so-called “silent majority” that got him elected in the first place, the Obama-Trump voters who work blue collar jobs or in agriculture or something like that, are probably a lot less happy with the way things are going right now.
-
-
Am I even a comedian anymore? Everything I write is really depressing now.
Tuesday, 22-Oct-19 19:55:49 UTC from web -
It’s another one of those stare-at-the-ceiling-because-you’re-too-sad-to-sleep nights
Tuesday, 22-Oct-19 07:25:21 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation That's why I sleep in a blindfold; I only have to stare into the void that way.
-
-
...and also, the store closes in fifteen minutes, how many cashiers do you want me to have??
Monday, 21-Oct-19 02:49:42 UTC from web -
Just had a customer complain to me about how I was being “cheap” by replacing two of my cashiers with automated self serve machines. First of all, I’M being cheap? Second of all, we have the same amount of cashiers we always did. You just saw the extra self scans and assumed I deleted two real people to compensate.
Monday, 21-Oct-19 02:45:24 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation did you just assumed that someone else assumed ? [ Inception_Bwong.mp3 ]
Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
-
-
You are not a doctor at Johns Hopkins, ma’am
Sunday, 20-Oct-19 22:12:05 UTC from web -
This customer smells terrible
Sunday, 20-Oct-19 22:08:59 UTC from web -
Trying to figure out if Cesar Milan can exist in Swole Foods
Sunday, 20-Oct-19 05:40:27 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation I'd say that that wholly depends on whether there is a dog section in that supermarket.
Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
-
-
Really loving the sass this editor gave another editor on the GTA wiki http://rainbowdash.net/url/875272
Saturday, 19-Oct-19 06:55:27 UTC from web -
I think it’s really, really, really, really funny that Tulsi Gabbard felt the need to defend herself before Hillary Clinton specifically named her. She was really vague about it. Could have been anyone. Tulsi assumed it was her.
Saturday, 19-Oct-19 00:52:16 UTC from web -
It’s a two-double-quarter-pounders-for-dinner kinda night
Friday, 18-Oct-19 04:11:19 UTC from web -
Tulsi Gabbard: The DNC is treating me unfairly. Everyone likes Elizabeth Warren, nobody likes me. :(
Democrats: Yo mango this Elizabeth Warren chickThursday, 17-Oct-19 04:18:50 UTC from web -
is this site dead?
Thursday, 17-Oct-19 02:12:02 UTC from web-
@westrail642fan only if you’re an mlp fan
-
@westrail642fan Not so fortunate
-
-
Just got an iiiiiinteresting email. This Swole Foods short might come in handy.
Wednesday, 16-Oct-19 19:02:18 UTC from web -
Tulsi Gabbard looks and acts like wants to speak to my manager.
Wednesday, 16-Oct-19 02:20:02 UTC from web -
House Democrats are AMA, AMA Donald Trump
Tuesday, 15-Oct-19 23:25:57 UTC from web -
Ah batcave the House Democrats actually AMA’d
Tuesday, 15-Oct-19 23:24:16 UTC from web -
Just helped a customer who looked like Rudy Giuliani send 30,000 rupees to Pakistan, ama House Democrats
Tuesday, 15-Oct-19 21:14:21 UTC from web -
I do believe this kid just yelled "I hate you, go home, you idiot!" at his mom. Probably for the best I'm not a mandated reported anymore; I'd be calling on half my apartment complex!
Tuesday, 15-Oct-19 01:40:39 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation He definitely screamed "GET ME A KNIFE" a couple times, then either "I'll kill myself" or "I'll kill (someone) myself."
-
@mrmattimation I hope it's the origin of me making friends with all the cats I'm feeding.
-
-
...I certainly can’t go back to it now at any rate. That ship has sailed.
Monday, 14-Oct-19 05:13:07 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Thank you for showing everyone you know the meaning of facetious. You will not go on to understand the meaning I laid out behind the words, but instead you will win a full-range colour-microwave. Go check your kitchen right now! our reverse burglary ... I mean... Professional installation team of time-space-defying kitchen equipment should have just finished working.
Man I love playing a stupid 80's show host :DJonathan Chouinard likes this. -
@drinkingpony there’s no meaning behind 98% of anything you say, you clearly say lots of words at once in a (failed) attempt to look smart
-
@mrmattimation You overestimate me.
"Don't you mean..."
I know what I said.Jonathan Chouinard likes this.
-
-
One can safely assume that My Little Brony also, eventually, ended with Matt finding peace with his new home. I’d like to think those characters are living a happily ever after off-screen.
Monday, 14-Oct-19 05:11:52 UTC from web -
My obsession with wanting to create not only enjoyable characters, but a believable and wholly independent world for them to live in is going to be the death of me. They could just live in our world. Swole Foods is a reflection of reality. The premise makes as much sense in our world. But that’s not as fun, is it? Kat COULD drive a used Toyota Corolla. Instead she drives a Nagoya Coles. She could have an iPhone. Instead she has the bellPhone. Her shoes could be Nikes. Instead they’re Hermes. Does it make a difference? No, it really doesn’t. But world building is fun, especially if you can successfully convince your audience that the world doesn’t exist to service the characters, but instead that the world just happens to be something the characters live in.
It also results in me getting super attention to detail-y and spending months on 3D maps.Sunday, 13-Oct-19 06:47:28 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation I spent months on SimCity SNES to create the city where my series of novellas takes place. Even incorporated random disaster events into the plot. Worldbuilding is fun, man. Don't blame you a bit.
-
-
how were communists able to rise up in Russia if leftists don’t have guns, really makes u think
Friday, 11-Oct-19 01:21:14 UTC from web -
I think a Western Union customer is about to complain about me to corporate for no reason (or if it is, it’s not a reason I can discern), cos at the end of the order she suddenly looked really upset and started demanding my name and a way to contact my supervisor, idk what I did cos as far as I know there were no problems. It was more confusing than anything.
The only thing I can think of is she seemed to dislike that I kept a copy of the receipt, which is, like, duh? I need that for reporting?Thursday, 10-Oct-19 23:56:19 UTC from web -
And of course, I'm job hunting, fully aware that the last three jobs I held have driven me to increasingly vivid depths of suicidal ideation. I'd love to get help, but who's footing the bill? I can just barely cover rent and bills. Can't even afford Obamacare; gonna get a tax fine for that come April. Goodie!! I did well in school. I went to college, got a degree (and got hosed in the process, never gonna own a home unless I miraculously do manage to outlive my dad), I've been working my ass to the bone for just about twenty years, the better part of my life, and for what? So some halfwit shareholders can have a yacht with a yacht onboard? All for sitting around on their wallets.
Thursday, 10-Oct-19 02:44:18 UTC from web-
@thismightbeauser I honestly don't know, maybe I will get lucky after all. I've been all distracted by the shrieking nightmare that waking life has become.
-
@scribus The individual mandate did get repealed, you technically aren’t required to have healthcare anymore.
-
@scribus Sorry about that. I feel you to some extent. I'm starting to realize that my anxiety may actually be a brain issue and not something I can just talk myself out of. Realizing that has helped me be a little kinder to myself and prevent it from spiraling out of control a little bit. I should probably be on medication, but everything I've been prescribed before has made me feel slightly dead inside.
-
-
My ideas stink and nobody listens to me, is this cancel culture?
Thursday, 10-Oct-19 01:42:13 UTC from web -
At a workshop where I had actors do a table read of the Swole Foods pilot script, I was told I should cut a joke involving Ralph Northam (the then-and-current Governor of Virginia) because he was, at the time, embroiled in a blackface controversy so he probably wouldn’t be governor for much longer AND he had been “canceled” so even saying his name was a bad idea. Well, not only is he still Governor, nobody in Virginia even REMEMBERS the controversy despite it happening THIS year, so I’m gonna chalk that one up as a win for Matt.
Wednesday, 09-Oct-19 07:40:59 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation I thought you were *supposed* to joke about political figures embroiled in controversy???
-
@scribus Their problem with it was that it WASN’T a joke about the controversy. His name was dropped as a payoff to an EARLIER joke in the script that had really nothing to do with politics at all and was more a joke about the setting and the unique circumstances of Virginia’s statewide offices, some of which are not actually full time jobs (our Lieutenant Governor also works for a law firm, for example). The joke was written days before the controversy broke.
-
-
This message brought to yo by Tegridy Farms.
Wednesday, 09-Oct-19 00:23:07 UTC from web
