The white void (hakupony)'s status on Saturday, 02-Jun-12 13:46:05 UTC
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@cajunbrony23 "She only loves only there suffering, and their pain." I think you want to say "their" there. "she seduces you, making you think she is the only means of living." That is a very strange pacing. The hard thing about poetry is melody and rythm - and your rythm seems random to me here.
