Replies to tenebarius, page 35
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@tenebarius nah, i know she doesnt like me, and i try and stay out of her way... Besides Im gay so. no boobies for me...
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@tenebarius Darkness is just the absence of light.
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@tenebarius She being transgender.. Male to Female, maybe a bit moody, but she has a few issues in my group... but there are some there to support her who know how to be a good friend to her.
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@tenebarius I wonder if I could ever even feel close to someone again. I wouldn't mind the emptiness if it wasn't filled with self hate and despair.
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@tenebarius i like someone that hates me... i dont know why. a lot of people hate me it doesnt mind me. i just she hasnt done anything for me to warrant disliking her...
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@tenebarius Are you implying that I hate you?
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@tenebarius Well, if I dont soon, I wont be able to focus. Cant do that> I'm going on welfare and party every day to a happy early death
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@tenebarius Then the trick is to help someone worth while
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@tenebarius Im sure it would be
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@tenebarius I picked the grumpy avatar for reasons.
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@tenebarius Don't.
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@tenebarius No it woudlnt
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@tenebarius Finding a true friend who is close to you is the most impossible thing in this world
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@tenebarius Watch out. You wouldn't want to get stuck. I have to get myself out, as far as I can see I have no hope. Once things start looking better, its just preparing me to fall from higher and break me more.
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@tenebarius No, not that kind of pain. I've been struck the worst blow that could be struck to me, but I literally made impossible to me to suffer too much. I just can't use a portion of my brain until it finishes dealing with the problem, and going to uni without it just makes no sense. The fate of years of work hangs on a decision that's not mine to make, and if it goes wrong it might be the nearest an event could get to breaking me. And that would mean not suffering for me, but absolute terror to others. A man like me, without binding principles, is literally the worst thing that can happen in that context.
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@tenebarius Problem is, lots of people who smile at you when you are looking will stab you in the back the moment you turn around
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@tenebarius Its easier for some to escape. You dont fall into sadness, itès where you start. You have to find your way out of it
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@tenebarius See, I might seem as healthy as usual, but I've felt fear and pain for the first time in years. My obsession for truth did give me answers, but it also caused a degree of collateral damage I won't even try explaining. After all, wielding a vorpal sword is just as draining for the swordman as it is for the enemy. An hour of anguish was more than enough for me. I won't whine and act depressed like some all too common weakling. That doesn't mean a third of my brain capacity isn't being drained towards the sole objective of keeping my mind working correctly.
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@bowandlyre @tenebarius thank you guys, i will just see internet stuff to see if that helps
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@neurario @tenebarius I told myself I'd never leave the PPG fandom. I remain a fan of the show still, but all connections I've made with other fans have since been lost, and I don't have any real intention of going back to that community unless the new series sparks my interest. There is a difference between the FiM fandom and that fandom, though, and that's the emphasis placed on friendships. If any fandom can survive, I feel it's this one, though its form may change.
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@tenebarius @pony The people I've met during my stay in the fandom are the majority of the reason why I love it. :)
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@pony @tenebarius Actually... it really matters... but still...
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@tenebarius I'm reminded of the Powerpuff Girls fandom whenever there's talk of the end of the MLP fandom. I was one of very few fans left in the online PPG community years after the show ended production. I knew I never wanted to give up the community, but eventually all that was left was a handful like myself subsisting on comics and fan works. Not even PPGZ helped revitalize our communities I guess since the show was just too different from the original. I'm interested now in seeing where the reboot of PPG as PPGX takes former and lingering fans of PPG..
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@neurario @tenebarius First one is great, sond one sucks.
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@tenebarius I did a little bit but not much
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@tenebarius Happy hugs for a sad Pinkie. :D
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@tenebarius I know we just referred to AOE2 but suddenly I feel like trying Empire Earth. xD
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@tenebarius when it comes to war. This however is a fandom festering with a bunch of fickle paranoid kids with self-esteem issues
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@tenebarius The question now stands- If a dark age comes will the fandom be able to withstand it? And if they do stand strong through the trials, will there be a Renaissance? Only time will tell.
