miguel balderrama's home timeline
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My grocery store is officially empty. We officially have nothing of value left to offer people. And yet, it’s still packed.
Wednesday, 18-Mar-20 19:41:02 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Time to buy a gun
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Oh wow. A small glimpse of "Communism" in the USA? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/americans-are-very-likely-to-get-dollar1000-or-more-checks-heres-what-you-need-to-know/ar-BB11k2rT
Wednesday, 18-Mar-20 12:33:08 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Ah. That explains a lot. Didn't know that.
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@mrmattimation I believe those were both tax rebates at heart, though. This would be a step further.
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@mrmattimation And that is super one of my favorites, I aspire to such heights of !caffeine consumption. Actually, I may have committed a couple such moments as a bus driver....
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meanwhile, I made five dollars on the market
Wednesday, 18-Mar-20 18:10:15 UTC from web -
Naturally Trump glares at the woman as she says something positive about China's response
Wednesday, 18-Mar-20 16:49:16 UTC from web-
@scribus my favorite part of that press conference was that Fox News had a real-time DOW counter in the corner, so every time he said something dumb, you could watch the recession get worse in real time.
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@mrmattimation Hey you're right, CBS had a ticker showing the measly growth of the day slow down every time I roll my eyes!
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hobby: lying to my ex and telling her i'm doing very good in my life, not because i want her to be jealous, but because i don't want her to think i'm about to go kill myself
Wednesday, 18-Mar-20 04:32:50 UTC from web -
Social distancing. Smh my damn head.
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:29:08 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation A terrible Social Distortion cover band...
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Social distancing is what you do when the weird kid starts drawing in his notebook in seventh grade math and the teacher’s yelling at him about it
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:27:51 UTC from web -
that’s about the extent of my coronavirus-related material
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:21:49 UTC from web -
Hey sorry Matt, I can’t go to the prom with you, there’s a coronavirus going around and I’m practicing social distancing.
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:18:09 UTC from web -
Oh, you’re lonely because of the coronavirus? Suck it up.
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:10:18 UTC from web -
“Social distancing” makes it sound like you’re being bullied and it’s your fault. It sounds like a nice way of referring to what women did to me in high school
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 19:09:33 UTC from web -
"There was a line at Costco so I went out and bought a gun" is not the logic pathway of someone who should own a gun https://time.com/5804562/coronavirus-fears-gun-sales/
Tuesday, 17-Mar-20 15:09:08 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation A legitimate concern, indeed. Much more dangerous than America switching to bidets!
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Boss called me into work. Told him I was out of town. Too embarrassed to say I’m playing Dungeons and Dragons
Monday, 16-Mar-20 19:31:16 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation WAY out of town, baby!
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gonna take a kiwi in someone’s salad and make a different crisis
Monday, 16-Mar-20 17:13:53 UTC from web -
I just told this dumb slut that I’m a human and I have amnesia and we’ll start a rescued team together lmao this papaya is too easy, gonna slam some pika FrankerZy, gonna put some eggs in that daycare center then bounce out, know what I mean
Monday, 16-Mar-20 09:01:22 UTC from web -
*true of any human race
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 23:54:41 UTC from web -
Clarification for my previous point: The show starts out as a pretty clear allegory for racism, but as you get further into the show it becomes pretty clear that actually, it isn’t, and that’s just how you chose to interpret it, so making real life connections with real life issues become crazy uncomfortable because, yes, carnivores are inherently more violent than herbivores, and yes, rabbits papaya like rabbits, and no, none of that is true in real life.
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 23:54:15 UTC from web -
here’s a fun game, when you watch Beastars replace every use of the word “carnivores” with “black people”, then slowly become uncomfortable with the fact that you’ve chosen to do this because doing so neatly fits the show’s narrative into a white supremacist rhetoric
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 20:19:28 UTC from web -
Beastars sure is silly
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 20:15:46 UTC from web -
OK completely unrelated to server setup bile, but I seriously didn't feel as much like we were facing The End after 9/11 as it looks for COVID-19. Just about think there were more flights in the air, too.
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 15:46:51 UTC from web-
@scribus I live next to IAD. Usually hear a plane flying overhead several times a day. I think I’ve seen or heard one plane in the last four days.
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@mrmattimation Intra-something device.
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@mrmattimation I used to travel to that area for work. It was all right.
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...so, uh, there’s your insider stock trading tip.
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 00:50:09 UTC from web -
My buddy's store did 286% normal business thanks to coronapanic yesterday.
Sunday, 15-Mar-20 00:26:56 UTC from web-
@scribus We have a store over in Langley like twenty minutes from here that did half a million dollars on Wednesday alone.
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@mrmattimation And yet, my stocks are damn near so low they're trading on the Chinese market.
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@scribus Possibly related, this company’s trading pretty low right now too because of internal rumors that they’re going to shutter stores for a few days while we get our inventory back together. Totally unprecedented by the way and I don’t see it happening. We only close one day a year - Christmas - and have never closed for anything else, be it inclement weather or otherwise.
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I don’t know for sure yet but there’s a remote chance I was exposed to coronavirus this past week?
Friday, 13-Mar-20 17:46:38 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Well, that means you only need to quarantine for the last half of the two weeks!
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I sure am going into work six hours early. Buncha frickin’ animals
Friday, 13-Mar-20 13:45:07 UTC from web -
really a huge fan of staying an extra hour after the store closes because right now, at 12:23am, is the first time I’ve gotten a chance to sit down and do my paperwork
Friday, 13-Mar-20 04:24:00 UTC from web -
It’s not the coronavirus that kills you, it’s the literal riot that just broke out in my store when the last package of toilet paper was taken
Friday, 13-Mar-20 01:42:26 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation The only remaining fair distribution method is deathmatch.
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oh cool, the governor just declared a state of emergency. That’s cool, I didn’t want to have an easy day at work today. Thanks Ralph.
Thursday, 12-Mar-20 19:35:20 UTC from web -
Good lord, every subsequent day I pull up to work, the parking lot is more and more full. You don’t need to be stocking up for the end of days, people, just wash your Fluffle Puffing hands and you’ll be fine
Thursday, 12-Mar-20 19:29:40 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation But the news plays their scary music now!!
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oh god I’m awake, what happened, what did the CDC do now, am I going to get lynched at work today
Thursday, 12-Mar-20 17:23:27 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation Well it looks like they got trump to stay on script for once, with the expression of Bart Simpson writing on the chalkboard
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the whole point of Swole Foods was supposed to be that these working-class mothercherryers are still struggling to get by when the economy is supposedly at the height of prosperity, so the fact that the markets are crashing is kind of a bummer, now it just looks like a remake of The Waltons
Thursday, 12-Mar-20 07:15:38 UTC from web
