Scott's home timeline
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I'm a simple hitman. If you give me a target and have him stand anywhere near a woodchipper, one thing is going to lead to the other
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 23:09:10 UTC from web -
The problem with shaving is that I have to look at myself, which makes me want to commit suicide, but /not/ shaving leads to me developing a neckbeard, which /also/ makes me want to commit suicide.
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 22:07:39 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark do what I do and get some Vietnamese lady who kiwi talks you to her colleagues in her own language to cut your face
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@mrmattimation Typical american attitude. "Just buy a person and make them do it"
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I'm pretty confused about the chronology here. Did You apologise the same day as You said You were angry? http://pny.lv/1f7ch
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 21:52:22 UTC from web -
"If you are seen placing a mine, it will be considered a suspicious act" thanks hitman.
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 20:55:47 UTC from web -
There are no bees in Equestria
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 18:28:41 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark There are no buses in Gensōkyō.
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@adiwan Close your eyes and visualise the following: You are running through a forest, and see a hive hanging low in the branch of a sycamore tree. If you do not know what a sycamore tree looks like, you can substitute oak, or cedar, or any other large tree. You think it may be fun to throw rocks at the hive. You are misguided. Bees begin pouring out. An unending torrent of bees. They are swarming you. They are stinging you, and you are flailing in a futile attempt to get them off. It's worse now and they have crawled inside of you. In through your tear ducts, and down your throat, muffling your screams. Now they are the ones that are desperate. Desperate to escape their new fleshy prison. They bite and sting, in an attempt to escape from you, but you have no way of letting them escape their bonds despite it being the only thing in the world that is important to you at this very moment.
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@ceruleanspark Nice creepypasta. 10/10 would post again.
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Mai just told Joey to kill himself
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 16:02:43 UTC from web-
@mrmattimation keep my beloved franchise out of your mouth
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@mrmattimation So no one told you life was gonna be this GAY
m14brony likes this.
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in another few hours the sun will rise
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 13:06:03 UTC from web-
@tiffany What the Fluffle Puff does that mean
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THE ONLY ONE WORTH WATCHING, MUSHI
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 12:27:38 UTC from web -
Living the Imperial dream: https://i.imgur.com/hJJ9ltO.jpg. Be Rich, Fly a Dick.
Sunday, 19-Mar-17 01:21:02 UTC from web -
Is a bearded weirdo a beirdo
Saturday, 18-Mar-17 20:43:37 UTC from web-
@awl In England we call them Weirdy Beardies
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@awl Ask @sadcurmudgeon .
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@thelastgherkin weird
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pokemon
Saturday, 18-Mar-17 15:45:20 UTC from web-
@tiffany I wanna be the very BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST, THE BEST
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@ceruleanspark you can win it in a minute if you spin it spin it spin it
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Hot take: the first two Harry Potter movies are better than any of the other Harry Potter movies
Friday, 17-Mar-17 15:30:24 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin ironically, the director of those movies would go on to direct Pixels
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@thelastgherkin If you're not careful you'll incite the wrath of a thousand tumblr gifs
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@mrmattimation I can't believe this
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You can tell Spyro: Year of the Dragon came out in 2000 from all the skateboarding levels
Friday, 17-Mar-17 12:29:08 UTC from web -
In my dream I was a Midsummer Murders-type detective trying to solve a murder in like a craft store or chintzy shop. None of my suspects were being co-operative so someone lit a fire so everybody had to evacuate and it turned out all the suspects were vampires and incinerated in the sunlight. That case solved itself
Friday, 17-Mar-17 11:02:15 UTC from web -
two sex bots liked my (hilarious) tweet and they both have the same profile pic but one is flipped horizontally
Friday, 17-Mar-17 10:54:20 UTC from web-
@tiffany Are you one of them?
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@takePotato Knishesakenji wanna find out? ; ) #batcave #hotdickings
takeshitakenji likes this. -
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Dat dat daddladdle at dat circus dat dat daddleaddle at dat afro
Friday, 17-Mar-17 10:40:16 UTC from web -
The Sailor Moon landing was fake
Thursday, 16-Mar-17 17:09:01 UTC from web- takeshitakenji, lambadalambda and clacke like this.
- Scribus repeated this.
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@thelastgherkin It would be awkward if two men landed there.
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@adiwan That's one small step in the name of the moon, one giant leap for punishing you
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Rigging CG models for LEGO minifigures must be like, 90% copy and paste
Thursday, 16-Mar-17 21:30:44 UTC from web -
This kind of thing is why I stopped using Facebook http://pny.lv/1f0ij
Thursday, 16-Mar-17 13:33:01 UTC from web
