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Whoever suggested that I fake happiness to trick myself into thinking that I am is a master of bad ideas
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:07:17 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen That was you.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:07:46 UTC from web-
@yodelerty I decided to follow through. Im honestly an idiot for thinking it will be a good idea
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:09:07 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen People are more willing to try and help you if you act friendly and happy than if you act like a miserable pile of donkey dongs. Kind of a thing I should fix I guess.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:10:44 UTC from web-
@yodelerty I'm not always miserable. Just most of the time.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:13:31 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen It's about half the time. I find myself more recently becoming the "miserable guy nobody wants to associate themselves with" guy. Feels bad man.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:15:43 UTC from web-
@yodelerty I definitely said guy twice. Wow.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:16:06 UTC from web -
@yodelerty I dont have a problem with miserable people personally. I know I am loyal and trust worthy and if people just shun me for being depressing then I dont want to know them either. Happy people dont like me, and I dont like most happy people. As long as you stay strong with your core morals I dont see anything wrong with being miserable. There's not much to be happy about anyways imo
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:19:59 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen Nah man. My core morals are flying away as we speak. Gonna wreck it. Everything that is. Not even Felix's golden hammer can fix it.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:21:39 UTC from web-
@yodelerty I used to think that too, but when push comes to shove, no matter how depressed you are, you'll see that there are some parts of you that are hard wired into you. For a while it will seem like you are loosing your morals, and they might be gone for a short while. But then they come right back when you have to make a decision. You'll see
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:24:43 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen Imagine jumping off the tallest building. Because that's just one of the many things I thought about today. Disappointing week man. I need like a year-long vacation where I can just punch as many people as possible because that's all that's gonna sort me out.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:27:33 UTC from web-
@yodelerty IMO, falling to your death is a bad way to go. By the time you get to the top, you may change your mind, which is why I like something quick. But take into account those PM's that I sent to you a while back. And I know what you mean. I dont punch people at my school, but I dont put up with their crap either. Kids smoking right outside the front door and blocking it? Open the door with force, pushing them off balance. Admittetly, I'm hoping one will throw the first punch at me
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:32:56 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen If you can walk all the way to the top of a skyscraper and still want to kill yourself after having all that time to think, then jump because you're obviously too depressed to even think about life. If you don't, then you don't really want to kill yourself and you go on living. It's as simple as that. Now me, I probably wouldn't do it because I'm a coward. Though it's not like anyone would mind if I did it anyway. One less angry person in the world. Pretty much paradise for anyone connected to me.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:37:29 UTC from web-
@yodelerty for me, it's one less atheist for the locals to hate/judge/pity
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:39:29 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Preach your beliefs to them before you go out. They love that.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:41:31 UTC from web-
@yodelerty but that means I dont say anything (no beliefs lol)
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:44:14 UTC from web-
@publictimeline It's still a belief. A belief that there is no God.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:44:42 UTC from web-
#RDNStream #s1e23 @yodelerty that's actually the biggest misconception of atheists, they they believe there is no god. Some atheists phrase it like that in layman's terms, but in reality atheism is simply the default position of a lack of belief/acceptance in a claim of religious proportions. When someone tells me atheism is a religion, it's like they're saying that not collecting stamps would be a hobby.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:47:11 UTC from web-
@publictimeline I actually really appreciated Magneto's character after seeing First Class and looking into his history and such. Shame I just don't like X-Me. Though.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:48:59 UTC from web-
@wafers Magneto is a cool character, and First Class did him justice in spite of cramming all that into 2 hours
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:50:04 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Thanos is awesome. He has sucj an interesting motive and is crazy powerful with the infinity gauntlet.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:12 UTC from web-
@wafers You know who's cooler than Thanos? Very few villains.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:52:20 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Like who?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:53:10 UTC from web
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@publictimeline Atheism is a religion to some people, just like theism. Some people think I'm religious because I believe in a god, but I'm not.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:53:53 UTC from web-
@yodelerty I'd be interested to meet an atheist who views his lack of beliefs as a religion. It's very accurate to say it can be a worldview for the majority of atheists, because beliefs (or lack thereof) inform our actions
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:02:08 UTC from web-
@publictimeline I just have a very simple outlook on life and don't believe anything beyond what we can perceive.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:03:46 UTC from web-
@wafers that's the best view to have!
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:04:07 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Yep! "We're all obsolete, and then we die." That's my mantra and i've stuck by it for a loong time.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:05:13 UTC from web-
@wafers not all of us are obsolete. Just me (jk lol)
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:05:44 UTC from web-
@publictimeline I just think everything is obsolete in the end and we just mask this fact with comforting thoughts and junk.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:07:01 UTC from web
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@publictimeline They're rare but they do exist.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:03:54 UTC from web-
@yodelerty now that I think of it, I think my sister met someone like that. I said to her, "Dear sis, I know you're christian and you know I'm atheist. But your coworker is scum and has no business treating you like scum on his boot." Thankfully my sister left that job
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:05:24 UTC from web-
@publictimeline I hope she punched that guy in the throat first
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:07:10 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Also, here, watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f7wj_RcqYk
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:07:50 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I shall watch this.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:10:06 UTC from web
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#RDNStream #s1e24 @yodelerty we heavily discussed the joy of this, but figured it would be for the best that this guy was spared my sister's wrath. However since it was a campus job my sister got the proper folks informed of the plethora of poor business practices, sexism and other nonsense.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:08:58 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Nice.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:09:51 UTC from web
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@yodelerty I DO believe in some things though. Like I believe in a thing called love. I mean, just listen to the rhythm of the heart!
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:49:12 UTC from web-
@publictimeline there's a chance we can make it now
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:49:53 UTC from web-
@rarity how long do you suppose we'll be rockin'?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:50:45 UTC from web-
@publictimeline maybe 9 more minutes?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:07 UTC from web-
@rarity no. TILL THE SUN GOES DOWN!
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:51 UTC from web
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@yodelerty I'd rather you didn't. And the problem I find is some part of the brain tries to self preserve and plant a seed of "Just wait a little bit and things will be okay". That is usually enough to just stop you, meanwhile you look back and realize that nothing changes, things get worse and your life is already all wasted. Its quite much how I feel nearly every day, to end it all. But remember what I sent to you in those DM's
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:46:09 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen Yup. Unfortunately. I've almost determined I'll never be able to be happy. Because I know exactly why I'm depressed. It just seems like it's impossible to fix. And I remember what you said in the DMs but I don't have friends so I don't have anyone who could get me that stuff or link me to people who could.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:49:42 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Or you could try getting some anti depressants. Legal that way and all. The worst are those things that you cant change that bring the depression
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:55:55 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I am not familiar with the proper procedure of getting anti-depressants, though.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:57:10 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Go to a family doctor or a psychiatrist and tell them you feel depressed. Walk out with anti depressants> become happier, more productive and all.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:01:10 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I'm way more comfortable letting the doctor handle my fun bits than I am talking to him about my feelings so that ain't gonna happen.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:03:24 UTC from web-
@yodelerty You dont talk feelings. Just tell him you are depressed and it hasnt gone away for a long time. My cousin got them. Said it was easy.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:07:37 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen Too hard. I'm too socially awkward. Plus my parents might find out.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:08:42 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Im socially akward, so is my cousin. If you dont get them soon and dont improve, you will just get them later when it becomes less unbearable. Parents would never find out, because everything you do with your doctor is strictly confidential. I was worried about that too.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:10:45 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I guess the next time I have to go to the doctor I'll let him know.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:12:24 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Good. But when is that?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:13:17 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen When my ritalin runs out.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:15:39 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Soon, hopefully?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:16:01 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen A month or two depending on how many crappy days I want to have before then.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:16:50 UTC from web-
@yodelerty Good. The sooner the better. They will probably also help you get the motivation to do better in school and what not. Cerulean knows a lot, if you ask him
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:18:14 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen That would actually be amazing if school got better. And I'll ask him if I need more advice I guess.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:20:47 UTC from web-
@yodelerty It should, from what I hear.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:22:29 UTC from web
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@yodelerty did you watch the video
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:21:59 UTC from web-
@publictimeline Hmm?
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:25:34 UTC from web
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@renovatedkitchen I'm a happy guy... and I love you.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:22:05 UTC from web-
@rarity We'll still have to see how long that'll last. I have a tenancy to drive people away, especially the closer they get
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:26:09 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen well, I've known you for almost a year (although I will admit not as closely as now) and I've not been driven away.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:27:47 UTC from web-
@rarity Well, here's a heads up anyways then, because it almost always happens. Almost is there just in case someone was left out that I have forgotten about already
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:34:56 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I'm not planning on giving up on you.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:36:10 UTC from web-
@rarity I'm just giving a heads up. Because I tend to become very rude and what not. Its pretty much a subconscious thing, not even sure what triggers it. Probably the feeling of getting close to someone
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:39:43 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen It's okay. I will always be here if you need me. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, I'll let you go. But if you're rude to me I won't mind.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:41:11 UTC from web-
@rarity Just saying. I can become /really/ bad. Subconsciously my brain profiles everyone and learns the best way to hurt that person. Yet another reason I hate having friends (this is my fault).
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:23 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen It's okay.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:53:26 UTC from web-
@rarity Okay. If you are sure. Still takes a while though because we arent too close
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:57:31 UTC from web-
@renovatedkitchen I got you.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:58:11 UTC from web
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@snowcone Everyone is safe
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:46:49 UTC from web -
@snowcone I'm too weak to ever do anything to myself beyond smacking my fist into a wall too hard or smashing my head on my desk until I black out so I'm probably good.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:05 UTC from web -
@snowcone it CAN be that. Atheism is just, "since I don't have enough evidence, I'm not going to go around pretending I know the answer"
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:51:30 UTC from web -
@snowcone But physical pain masks emotional pain.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:52:04 UTC from web -
@snowcone I treat my body like it is a disposable puppet for my soul.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:53:01 UTC from web -
@snowcone Feels good man.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:54:29 UTC from web -
@snowcone That's why I try to stay away from illegal substances. They never help.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:57:48 UTC from web -
@snowcone it's a back and forth. Unfortunately both sides think they have the right answer, but Christian-dominant societies tend to use the majority-rules argumental fallacy that irritates me to no end. Here's an example of long-term issues you get when a given society's majority holds a common worldview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7xbwAmPXxU&list=FLtniQfwsxyiqKZI98biTo5Q (the same problem would be reverse if atheists were in the majority, which is what we don't want either.)
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:58:10 UTC from web -
@snowcone I do whatever to it everyday. Go outside and freeze, sure. Speed walk until my ankles are clicking, barely sleep, eat less/have a horrible schedule.. yada yada
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 05:59:40 UTC from web -
@snowcone I don't have the time to go to a psych hospital. And the help they administer isn't going to work for everyone because it's general help, presumably, not individual. Unless it is. Then I'm just a moron.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:01:19 UTC from web -
@snowcone You want to kill yourself because other people are stupid? That would motivate me to try to make a difference
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:06:20 UTC from web-
@publictimeline A pony who shall remain nameless recommends the Atheism subreddit to you.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:07:07 UTC from web -
@publictimeline I don't want to leave this planet. I want other people to leave this planet.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:09:49 UTC from api
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@snowcone That's kind of stupid. Money doesn't bring happiness to everyone. Winning the lottery would eliminate the vast majority of my stress so it would certainly make me happier. But a lot of people have deep emotional scars that a big cheque isn't going to fix. That "lead psychiatrist" guy is a moron.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:06:20 UTC from web -
@snowcone If I ever met this guy I'd give him a vocal and physical thrashing.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:11:00 UTC from web -
@snowcone Hopefully it doesn't come that, though. I like you and I would cry for a longass time if you were to die.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:15:23 UTC from web -
@snowcone Thanks. It means a lot.
Wednesday, 06-Mar-13 06:18:55 UTC from web
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