Gherkin ☑️ (thelastgherkin)'s status on Sunday, 03-Jul-11 20:23:40 UTC
-
Dear Princess Celestia. Today I learned that if you cut your pizza into twice as many slices as usual and fold them over into a sandwich, you can eat twice as fast AND not burn the top of your mouth on the molten cheese. Anyway, I was actually writing to you about my daily letters. I know you're busy running the country and do not have chance to answer every one, so I was pleased with the response I received yesterday. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a restraining order! Surely this is a mistake as I would never do anything to hurt you. I assure you that the last time I saw you in person I was only trying to get a cutting of your hair, which smells so divine that I've stuffed a pillow with it. Anyway, I've attached a photo of myself so you can see that I am not any kind of creepy stalker, and I assure you that all other parties in said photo were of age. I look forward to hearing your hasty response. Your faithful student, Jack the Last Gherkin.
