Gherkin (thelastgherkin)

Gherkin

Who is Big Gay

Gherkin

I had a dream that Twilight Sparkle was invited to a political conference to give a talk about friendship but she didn't want to go so instead of a speech she sang a song that inspired everyone to becoming anarchist protesters so she could hide in her expensive hotel room and watch loud porn on her laptop

Gherkin

I don't want to sound racist, but bronies are becoming a minority on their own social network

Gherkin

I certainly hope I'm cooked properly, because I am teeming with parasites

Gherkin

You: totes mcgroats
Me, an intellectual: totally mcgroatally

Gherkin

Has My Little Pony ever had a magician named Hay Presto

Gherkin

Has anyone ever effed without blinding or vice versa

Gherkin

Chip vs Dale

Gherkin

Howdy neighbour it's a hot one tod-- (spontaneously combusts)

Gherkin

Take off all your preppy clothes

Gherkin

You: Happy Father's Day
Me, an intellectual: daddy

Gherkin

Last night in D&D I kept using my Deck of Illusions inappropriately, at one point conjuring up a Hill Giant that I named Biggo. But since we then had to climb a mountain range, as soon as Biggo got 120ft away he dispelled. I turned back and whispered "I love you", and he grumbled "Supermaaaaaan..." It was both sadder and funnier than the end of the Iron Giant.

Gherkin

Eat at Joe's

Gherkin

I dreamed of a Mario game where you had to decide which Mario characters would board in which hotels while on holiday and whichever one had Waluigi would kick him out after he wrecked up the place

Gherkin

There's more to being a good person than just having a stereo television

Gherkin

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop - you know the place - well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just PEACHY! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNING! It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said, "Hey mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother - she just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me and she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old. That's when I swore that someday - someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place where the sun is always shin

Gherkin

My brain, desperately searching for a batcavepost: Spyro T Agnew the Dragon

Gherkin

There are seven types of urine

Gherkin

RIP Adam West :(

Gherkin

What's this new Boner Law I'm hearing bandied about

Gherkin

Wait, what? There's a new Bubsy game coming out??

Gherkin

She! http://rainbowdash.net/url/859618