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@redenchilada I will now liveblog the experience of unboxing and attempting to play Sonic on the N-Gage
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:22:13 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Oh yes please do.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:22:47 UTC from web-
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:23:35 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark So somehow, I've managed to acquire a /factory sealed/ copy of Sonic N. If it wasn't an N-gage game I'd consider that I might be destroying something of value by opening it
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:23:14 UTC from web-
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:23:33 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark In a testament to the N-Gage's stunningly intuitive design, the case contains a paper insert outlining no fewer than 12 steps required to actually insert the cart into the machine.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:26:52 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark The game does come with a separate, smaller portable case for the game card. Remember when gameboy games used to come with those clear cases to keep the carts in? Like that.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:28:04 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark N-Gage game cases also come with slots for multiple game cards, just in case you couldn't fit one your game all one card. The card appears to be pretty much standard SD with the write-protect slider removed.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:28:54 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Now attempting to actually start the game on the N-Gage. The fact that the device's startup time seems to have tripled since I inserted the card bodes well
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:30:03 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Kind of amazingly, the card slot accepts cards in any orientation, with no guide whatosever to the correct one. Getting the right orientation starts the game immediately.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:31:31 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark OK, the game has started. The sound could be described as ear bleeding, but that would be doing you a disservice. It is worse than that.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:32:10 UTC from web -
@ceruleanspark The game has noticable slowdown and sound stutter /on the main menu/ this bodes well for the quality of the gameplay
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:32:54 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark I have completed the first stage. It somehow is worse than I imagined. The framerate seems to be somewhere between 0 and 5FPS. Getting a green bubble causes the /entire stage/ to flicker erratically. Occasionally the landscape disappears completely leaving just the parallaxed background.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:35:59 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark And they sold this? For money?
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:36:47 UTC from web -
@ceruleanspark My game was interrupted by the phone's text messaging subsystem crashing. I have not recieved any texts, so I am not sure why this has happened. I am not certain that this is a bad thing
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:37:11 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark The device speaker is now emmiting a strange intermittent hissing sound.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:38:30 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Creeper infestation?
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:38:56 UTC from web-
@colfax Thatsssss a nice.. Wait. Nevermind.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:39:44 UTC from web-
@eaglehooves Don't spoil the surprise for him.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:41:09 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark Resuming my game. Perhaps the previous awful performance was down to the device crashing in the background?
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:39:45 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark The performance is marginally better, but still not what I would call "production ready". Did I mention that the game actually plays letterboxed? Yeah. It doesn't even use the devices full display.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:42:32 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark The noise it makes when you lose a ring is high pitched enough to actually kill a dog I swear. It physically hurts me to hear it. I bet if you played it at a bat it would commit suicide.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:43:07 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark I need one of those so much. There's a dog I want to kill.
Thursday, 03-May-12 22:51:41 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark Oh my lord when you hit robotnik and lose a ring at the same time the entire stage winks out of existance because it can't draw the flying rings and the boss-damage-flash
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:43:40 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark If you ever wanted to know what http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzXwutv0yy8 sounds like being played at you down a tin-can telephone, through a mineshaft, try the N-Gage
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:44:47 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Freeing the animals at the end of the stage literally freezes the game for 5 seconds. Then you just warp to the next stage.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:45:52 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Getting the speedup boots allows you to move fast enough to overtake the devices ability to render the stage, leaving you running into nothingness.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:48:50 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Device has begun to vibrate at seemingly random intervals. This is not a feature of the game, as it does not have haptic feedback.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:50:33 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Maybe it's turned on by you. /bricked
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:51:27 UTC from web -
@ceruleanspark Attempting to spindash confuses the device to the point that it stops playing game audio completely.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:52:43 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark oh wow are you sure your ngage is working right
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:53:25 UTC from web-
@redenchilada This was a factory sealed unit.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 18:01:44 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark Amazing quality there.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 18:03:19 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark We must come up with a definition for "spindash" that relates to posting on RDN.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:55:18 UTC from web-
@toksyuryel To manage more than three conversations with three different users at once.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:56:08 UTC from web -
@toksyuryel Alternatively, a repost.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:57:26 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark Stage 3's (Casino Paradise) animated background has halved the devices already abysmal framerate.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:57:27 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark What kind of device are you playing on that its intended function is working so badly?
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:58:38 UTC from web-
@bitshift an N-Gage apparently
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:59:14 UTC from web-
@redenchilada Oh, those. I remember wanting one back in the day, but I'm glad, in hindsight, that I didn't get one.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:59:51 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark For the sake of my hearing and my remaining sanity, I'm turning it off for now.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 18:00:02 UTC from web-
@ceruleanspark My ears are actually ringing.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 18:02:17 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark I think there's a portrait mode that cuts off 60% of your side view.
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:44:25 UTC from web
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@ceruleanspark Don't you have to remove the battery to do it?
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:28:23 UTC from web-
@redenchilada Yes. Take off the entire back cover, remove the battery, then another tab thing
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:29:18 UTC from web
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@woona @ceruleanspark I do love the new avatar x)
Wednesday, 02-May-12 17:40:59 UTC from web
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