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  1. While I was at the old age home I saw an elderly man who had fallen down and was being assisted by some of the facilities workers. He had this look of pain in his eyes, almost like they were expressing a sort of contempt for even still being alive. I saw this and realized this was going to be me someday, if I live long enough to get to that age. Life is a fickle thing, isn't it?

    Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:45:21 UTC from web
    1. @northernnarwhal It's fickle and such a fragile thing, the most fragile thing most people in this world takes for granted.

      Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:46:51 UTC from web
      1. @awlditzy Is it wrong that I'm fully aware I still have so much of my life ahead of me to experience but I'm already afraid?

        Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:48:07 UTC from web
        1. @northernnarwhal Well I'd compare, but tis unfair... it's a little strange but not wrong. Everyone gets afraid of what it will be like to get to an age where you perceive you cannot do anything else with life, or to die. One of the reasons I joined army was to die at a young age.

          Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:50:23 UTC from web
          1. @awlditzy I think I'm also worried that if I'm generally this depressed during what are statistically the best days of my life, what sort of condition will I be in on my death bed?

            Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:53:46 UTC from web
            1. @northernnarwhal Preaching to the choir, here. "If I'm this mangoesed in the mind, how worse will it get?". Statistics don't mean a fig in emotions, either.

              Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:55:19 UTC from web
              1. @awlditzy Yeah, but I guess I mean in terms of the fact that I live in a nice house and don't have to pay bills and I have a lot more free time than I will as an adult. But yeah, you can't really quantify emotions. Especially considering that mine are a swirling cesspool of feeling.

                Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:59:22 UTC from web
                1. @northernnarwhal I was thinking you were talking about prime age, actually, but sure we can go with better times of one's life. Some would say the freedom of being on one's own, despite the bills and having to keep up a job for the most part, are better. I'm still filibustering on that verdict. By the bye, "better people not remember me", is bullocks. (being hypocritical here).

                  Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:02:18 UTC from web
                  1. @awlditzy I guess the only way I'll find out is when I get to that point myself. Maybe if I don't colossally screw up as an adult I'll have actually important things to care about that will keep me too busy to care about things like my inevitable and eventual death.

                    Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:06:55 UTC from web
                    1. @northernnarwhal The nice thing about being a young adult, I suppose, is there's a lot of time to screw up in any degree and still be able to come out ahead. I don't think it hurts to reflect on death once in a while, as it keeps us from blindly acting without care or concern for life (most of us), but as with most things over-doing it's unhealthy for the soul. Bottom line is # isn't exactly a policy to take to heart, nor is #

                      Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:09:48 UTC from web
                      1. @awlditzy Yeah, you're right. I should really just stop worrying about mistakes or regrets and just do. I've certainly done my fair share of reflecting, and I guess the less I think about these things the better off I am in the long run.

                        Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:16:06 UTC from web
                        1. @northernnarwhal The trick will be to implement that. Personally I don't reflect on death much as I used to, whether is better or worse who can say, but yes no pain, no gain. Or nothing ventured, nothing gained, is better.

                          Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:21:36 UTC from web
                          1. @awlditzy As they say in Latin, "Tempus edax rerum", time is the devourer of all things. If I can't beat the clock I should try my best in its twisted game.

                            Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:30:38 UTC from web
                            1. @northernnarwhal Well it's either that or give up, and that ship has sailed, friend. Else you wouldn't bother learn anything.

                              Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:33:00 UTC from web
                              1. @awlditzy You make a good captain

                                Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:35:44 UTC from web
                                1. @northernnarwhal Ballad of the Edmund Fitzgerald

                                  Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:36:46 UTC from web
                                  1. @awlditzy *salutes*

                                    Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:37:39 UTC from web
                                    1. @northernnarwhal Joined the Russian army did you?

                                      Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:54:12 UTC from web
                                      1. @awlditzy I need to fight the capitalist pigs

                                        Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:55:30 UTC from web
                                        1. @northernnarwhal My Gods that shouldn't be as funny as it was, or is.

                                          Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:56:37 UTC from web
                    2. @northernnarwhal "I am too busy to die"

                      Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:11:04 UTC from web
                      1. @nerthos I need to get a high paying job so I can look snazzy at my funeral

                        Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:16:41 UTC from web
                        1. @northernnarwhal I'll just rig my armor to keep my corpse standing, if I die. With luck I'll also be able to rig it to move in the middle of the funeral.

                          Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:47:23 UTC from web
                          1. @nerthos Rig it to do pelvic thrusts

                            Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:52:46 UTC from web
                            1. @northernnarwhal That wouldn't scare anyone!

                              Friday, 19-Sep-14 04:17:00 UTC from web
        2. @northernnarwhal No, death is hard to not fear. It is natural to do. Just use this fear to your advantage, don't let it wipe you from the minds of other or history so damn easily. Give others a meaning to remember you and carry out or adopt something you taught them. Those people then spread what you taught them with others, let it be advice or some other form of action or wisdom. It is like an insurance that some part of you will live on.

          Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:52:37 UTC from web
          1. @metaltao Except others don't have a reason to remember me and it's better for them that way.

            Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:55:36 UTC from web
            1. @northernnarwhal They don't have to remember you per-se, but they can remember what you taught them or how you made them feel. As Maya-Angelou put it, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

              Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:59:05 UTC from web
              1. @metaltao In that case people will all still feel awful even after I'm gone from their lives. Neat.

                Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:00:51 UTC from web
    2. @northernnarwhal Yeah, I know what you mean. Some days, I feel like if I die without completely wearing my body out then I've wasted the parts I didn't wear down. Other days, I want to go out in as close to top shape as is reasonable so I don't suffer for a long-ass time at the end.

      Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:47:22 UTC from web
      1. @scribus Yeah, there are some days where I wake up and ask myself "If I, hypothetically, were to die today, what would I regret?" Regret including both things I have done and things I would've never had the chance to do.

        Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:50:08 UTC from web
        1. @northernnarwhal I'd probably regret dying.

          Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:50:51 UTC from web
          1. @nerthos Yeah, especially since you wouldn't respawn D:

            Friday, 19-Sep-14 02:54:14 UTC from web
            1. @northernnarwhal Nah, really, if I die I'll most likely simply regret dying.

              Friday, 19-Sep-14 03:02:10 UTC from web