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Just lay on the floor for an hour and a half
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@mastertdi Good time to practice your shrubbery impression.
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@mastertdi You gotta re-frame. You /meditated/ for an hour and a half. Now you're productive
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@fyf I am Groot. Groot is me
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@mastertdi The ability to briefly pass as Groot could very well save your life one day
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@ceruleanspark How do you know I didn't just give up on everything. Why are you so smart
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@fyf Gotta beleaf
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@mastertdi Gotta begroot
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@fyf Groutz
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@mastertdi Y'know, strictly speaking, meditation /is/ the process of giving up on all things.
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@mastertdi When I was very depressed (as in, tried to kill myself tier), I attended a class at a nearby buddhist temple. The topic of the day turned out to be "The inevitability of death". It's a very "Dark" seeming religion, but it's surprisingly uplifting. I have some books to recommend if you're even vaguely interested
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@ceruleanspark I'd probably never get around to reading them since I apparently can't even work up the strength to phone a helpline, thanks though
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@ceruleanspark I would actually be interested if you still wanted to recommend them.
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@mastertdi Phoning a helpline /is/ hard though. I couldn't do it. Don't think less of yourself if you can't talk yourself into that.
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@fyf The three volumes of "Modern Buddhism, the Path of Compassion and Wisdom" by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, and "Eight Steps to Happiness" by the same author. "Modern Buddhism" is free in e-form from amazon.
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@ceruleanspark Alright, thanks. I'll go check them out.
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@ceruleanspark Just feels like a catch 22 really. I refuse to get help when I need it most. Getting actual counselling soon anyway
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@mastertdi You should probably be on antidepressants too.
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@ceruleanspark I got the impression they didn't help. Though I would like to find out
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@mastertdi Were you on them before then?
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@ceruleanspark No, I meant I got that impression from other people
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@mastertdi Everyone has a different brain, and different brain chemistry, so whilst one particular drug might work for one person (Like me and my bff Sertraline), it might not work for someone else. A lot of people tend to think of them as being like an off the shelf painkiller, so they think "Oh, this one didn't work for me, therefore: Antidepressants don't work at all". If people would just tell their doctors they didn't feel any better, they'd get a different drug and maybe make some progress.
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@ceruleanspark That is a very fair point
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@mastertdi To add further perspective, I started with Fluoxetine, which didn't work so well, moved onto Citalopram, which started out OK, but crapped out over time, I was then switcehd to Mirtazapine, which was a trainwreck, and now I'm on Sertraline, which works well.
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@ceruleanspark Was this a result of different professionals, or experimentation or what?
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@mastertdi Trial and error really. They tend to start with the pills that work for the widest range of people, then if they're no good, move you down certain routes based on how people who are like you responded to them.
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@ceruleanspark Does it take a few sessions to be prescribed anything?
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@mastertdi No. If they think you need it, you'll get prescribed immediately. They usually have you fill out a form with these questions on it: http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9 and if you test positive, you can get prescribed.
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@ceruleanspark I'll check this out when I get home in a few minutes. Thanks
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@ceruleanspark Oh boy I got moderately severe, I should probably see a doctor.
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@ceruleanspark so that's what they are. Mine always have the header removed. Not very perseptive of me.
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@scoot I made you do this before and you got the same result then.
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@ceruleanspark I completely forgot about that. I'm less panicked about Doctors now than I was then, though.
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@ceruleanspark Got 1/27. Guess I'm safe.
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@ceruleanspark I got severe
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@mastertdi I sort of suspected you might. You should see a doctor. Any doctor is fine, it doesn't have to be the "family doctor" or whatever. If you don't know how to get in contact with one, you can dial 111 on a phone and someone will talk you through getting in contact. They're really nice people there (It's shocking for a government funded thing), but they're also professionals, so they're not going to do that "be super sweet and make you feel worse" thing that well meaning bystanders are always doing.
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@ceruleanspark I've seen my GP twice about it; he gave me the number I didn't call. And then last week or so my mum set us both up for counselling, which is actually to do with my dad but she decided it'd work for my depression too.
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@mastertdi If he's missed the mark that badly /twice/, your GP might well be an idiot. Depending on how long you have to wait before the counselling starts, you might want to try booking an appointment with someone else. (You can just say "I don't want to see Doctor Whoever" and they have to honor that).
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@ceruleanspark To be fair, I basically had the same talk with my GP both times, except the second time I decided to admit that I have dark thoughts sometimes.
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