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I heard the other day about a doctor whose medicine and treament is all duck-based. I was going to go and see him but everyone keeps telling me he's a quack.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:50:45 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin groan on...
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:51:47 UTC from StatusNet iPhone -
@rotation Mmyes. Yes I do.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:53:06 UTC from web -
@thelastgherkin I wonder if that's the same doctor who usually stopped at the bar after work for an almond daquiri. Except one day, the bartender was out of almonds, so he used hickory nuts instead. The doctor took a sip and said, "This isn't an almond daquiri! What am I drinking?" The bartender replied, "it's a hickory daquiri, doc!"
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:53:56 UTC from web-
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:54:35 UTC from StatusNet iPhone
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@starshine @rotation A good bra is like barbed wire. It should do its job without obscuring the view. #someoneshootme
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:57:08 UTC from web-
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@redenchilada Oh no, an alfalfa monster! D:
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:59:43 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin A princess must eat her alfalfa before dessert.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:02:22 UTC from web
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Thursday, 09-Jun-11 16:55:08 UTC from web
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@rotation Reminds me of the time I was staring at a carton of orange juice because it said "concentrate".
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:00:11 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin Ah, blonde jokes. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M manufacturing plant? She kept throwing away all the W's.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:02:30 UTC from web -
@thelastgherkin Oh fudge yea... fav'd :D ... oh and repeated
Thursday, 03-May-12 22:56:27 UTC from web
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Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:01:55 UTC from web
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@rotation That's it. I'm fetching my Two Ronnies joke book.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:05:19 UTC from web -
@rotation Gandhi usually went barefoot, so the soles of his feet were thick. Of course, since he was very spiritual, he fasted often, so he was thin and frail. He also had rather bad breath due to his normal diet. He was a super-callused fragile mystic plauged with halitosis.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:10:21 UTC from web-
@starshine icwatudidthar
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@rnbwdashiswin Hope it goes quickly for you.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:17:59 UTC from web
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@rotation The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a life peerage. From now on he'll be known as the Lord of the Flies.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:11:09 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin So two communists go to a nudist colony. One of them says to the other, "Have you read Marx?" The other replies, "Yes, these chairs are rather uncomfortable."
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:14:42 UTC from web-
@starshine @rotation The Prime Minister announced today a new plan to prevent us all becoming poor by the time we're sixty - he's going to make sure we're all poor by the time we're thirty.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:18:58 UTC from web-
@thelastgherkin @rotation What do you call a car from Norway? Fjord.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:20:55 UTC from web-
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:23:16 UTC from web
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@thelastgherkin You know, there were a lot of Viagra jokes a few years back, but they seem to have petered out.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:24:29 UTC from web-
@starshine are you making these up or getting them from somewhere?
Wednesday, 05-Oct-11 22:01:09 UTC from web-
@tenmihara ...well... he's gone. But as far as I can ascertain, he is a God to me.
Wednesday, 05-Oct-11 22:03:33 UTC from web-
@pawnheart He is most certainly a master of his craft
Wednesday, 05-Oct-11 22:05:58 UTC from web-
@tenmihara I agree. His star burnt out long before... his legend ever will.
Wednesday, 05-Oct-11 22:06:52 UTC from web
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@rotation @starshine The Chancellor of the Exchequer has revealed his new plan to shorten the dole queues. He's making unemployed people stand closer together.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:14:39 UTC from web -
@rotation @thelastgherkin Why was the urologist's license revoked? He got in trouble with his peers.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:22:57 UTC from web -
@rotation So a fiver walks into a bar, and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here, this is a singles bar!"
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:28:42 UTC from web -
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:36:08 UTC from web
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Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:46:53 UTC from web
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@starshine Correctamondo! :D Though I might wait until a strategically picked time to redash some of the others.
Thursday, 09-Jun-11 17:49:43 UTC from web
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@thelastgherkin Okay that was funny. XD
Tuesday, 21-Jun-11 16:54:27 UTC from web -
@rotation Silly joke makes me snort tea. You mean ponie.
Tuesday, 21-Jun-11 16:56:10 UTC from web -
@rotation i accidentally clicked it and exploded now i'm in pony heaven they have wi-fi here isn't that cool?
Tuesday, 21-Jun-11 16:59:47 UTC from web -
@rotation Gosh... its like Applejack's vision... in reverse. Favourites duly applied!
Wednesday, 05-Oct-11 22:09:25 UTC from web -
@thelastgherkin miners are given a hard time; they dig underground for resources but can't get a drink at a bar. bu-dum tish
Thursday, 03-May-12 20:03:11 UTC from web-
Thursday, 03-May-12 20:04:24 UTC from web
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