Notices tagged with nonsequitur

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur Something about you wants to make me rattle some frying pans. You make me want to sing a song about the discounted carpets which lay beneath our feet. Whenever I see you, you make me feel as if a titanium pillowcase has wrapped itself around my raspberry, keeping it fresh with its warm embrace. When you aren't around, I look longingly at the stapler; I regard it as an analogy of the two of us, we sheets of paper, being held together forever. When I come home to your enchanting presence, my kettle whistles, my flower pot dances, and all the milk bottles in the local grocer burst with happiness. Praise be to the great dessert fork in the sky for blessing me with your delightful citrus fruit. I will curdle you until the day I evaporate. I will always be there for you, for as long as we share our yoghurt.

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur Put your dinner plates in the air like you just don't care! Clap your coins to the beat, join me in eating some meat! Party up, party down, party like a salty clown! Get your freezer in the house 'cos it's about to squash a mouse! Rock on, rock on; no one does it like Gaston! Shake your vacuums to the side because they taste just like fluoride!

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur Something about you wants to make me rattle some frying pans. You make me want to sing a song about the discounted carpets which lay beneath our feet. Whenever I see you, you make me feel as if a titanium pillowcase has wrapped itself around my raspberry, keeping it fresh with its warm embrace. When you aren't around, I look longingly at the stapler; I regard it as an analogy of the two of us, we sheets of paper, being held together forever. When I come home to your enchanting presence, my kettle whistles, my flower pot dances, and all the milk bottles in the local grocer burst with happiness. Praise be to the great dessert fork in the sky for blessing me with your delightful citrus fruit. I will curdle you until the day I evaporate. I will always be there for you, for as long as we share our yoghurt.

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur All of you, please; put down your croissants! There is no reason for us to do battle upon the breakfast table of power! All we are doing is worsening the situation. Hasn't there been enough marmalade spilt already? We are noble breadwarriors; we have already done what needs to be done. One can never justify violence of such saltiness. We need to come to our senses and simply observe that the toast has dried out and curled at the corners. Not even our creamiest butter can rectify what injustice has been carried out on this day - the holy day of cheese spread.

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur Pie? You give me pie!? When one offers me such pastry-laden glory, I expect it to be filled with liquorice! As this requirement is not met, I am afraid that I must decline your gift. Liquorice is necessary for my galoshes to function in the strawberry fields, as you should know. Without the twinned effort of my limbs and my boots, I cannot walk; hence you cannot have strawberries. What's that? You don't care? I'm afraid this is a very serious matter...

Dopey Shrove

#nonsequitur Once upon a time, there was a pony. She was fat and green. The poor little thing; all she could do was roll down hills. Eventually, the saddening day came when there were no more hills for the fat pony to roll down. She could do nothing, now that she was stuck in a ditch. Years passed, and nature took over, consuming her as part of the grass. Over time, other residents of Ponyville repeatedly walked over her, not knowing that she was there. And that is the legend of Mrs Greengrass.