shao jian's home timeline
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One week until my risk of death in a transatlantic plane crash rises significantly
about a year ago from web-
@adiwan and then once the plan lands my risk of getting killed in a mass shooting also falls significantly
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@zeldatra Lemme know how it feels to not need to scope the exits and cover opportunities for every building you enter
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@scribus Downtown London is crazy man, kids in the suburbs were getting off school, came to the city on a train, and were just wandering about buying sweets with their allowances, never would’ve dreamed of doing that when I was a kid (I mean, mostly because the Washington metro didn’t hit my hometown until I was 25, but still…
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Snowfall at the hardware store today
about a year ago from web-
@scribus As somebody who’s never been west of El Paso, Southern California is all the same to me, frankly you guys are lucky people even know there’s places besides LA over there
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@zeldatra It would probably help if the Anaheim (OC) Angels didn't somehow become an LA team, and a FrankerZant car auction in the boondocks of Mira Loma, IE called itself their LA location, among other things like the city's history of swallowing up other towns (largely by calling dibs on water rights, which of course involved the flooding of a native sacred site) and the general fact that most of SoCal really is just one neverending urban/suburban/exurban sprawl
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@scribus I was gonna say, the other day I saw a map of SoCal’s road network and it sure does seem like urban Los Angeles is much bigger than LA County based on that alone
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I quit sleeping pills, which I developed an addiction to in 2019 when my depression got really bad, a little under a year ago during my first trip to the UK. I started taking them again in August after getting transferred to my new store but I’ve been a good boy since around October and I think I’ve finally kicked them for good. We’ll see how this year goes I guess.
about a year ago from web-
@zeldatra If you get the insomnia but don't want to give in, I've made use of NyQuil or Benadryl to zonk out forcibly
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@scribus tried this, it works for the night but then exasperates my insomnia so that I can’t sleep without some kind of aid for like a week, so now if I have any restless nights I just deal
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@zeldatra suuuucks, been there man. Gratz on getting and staying off, though. Hope things settle.
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Embarrassingly, I did not know that Parry Gripp was the guitarist for Nerf Herder until just now.
about a year ago from web-
@scribus That sounds rad. One of the script treatments I’m writing as part of this series pitch is a spoof of supernatural media & part of me wonders, supposing I had to stay on the web, how difficult/expensive it’d be to get Nerf Herder to perform a cover of the Swole Foods theme song for that one. Definitely one of my production fantasies.
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Ooof... Yakuza 3 Remastered looks like it needs another remaster. It controls very weirdly and looks like a PS3 game.
about a year ago from web -
Red Dead Redemption 2 is my favorite game because I just robbed two trains and took hundreds of dollars of cash and valuables, and the game still considers me a decently honorable guy, but my friend killed a domesticated duck for its pelt and he is literally Satan.
about a year ago from web-
@zeldatra In Yakuza the protagonist is accused of murder but didn't do it. On the other hand in the actual game he breaks spines left and right, shoots people, jams a broken bottle into the abdomen, piledrive a person head first into the concrete floor. It's ok because after the fight they are shown to be alive but bruised.
Scribus likes this. -
@adiwan I’ve been playing through Yakuza Kiwami, haha. It’s my other favorite game right now.
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the uk is apparently now a developing nation so my exit strategy has become “join the peace corps and claim I’m doing humanitarian work”
about a year ago from web-
@scribus man I’m entirely too useless to actually try and do something like that, good on him
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Some lore about Kat’s father, the late Peter Matthew Reynolds:
He grew up poor in Denver, Colorado in the 80s and 90s. His father was an Irish immigrant who ran a pub downtown, and his mother left the family when he was young. Kat has never met her grandparents, and for good reason: Peter’s father was an abusive alcoholic who kicked him out when he was 16, after he impregnated the local media heiress, Katrina Analisse, Kat’s mother.
Peter’s childhood best friend was Clarence, the Twin Souls preacher. When Peter and his new family eventually moved to Virginia, Clarence visited often, and in the late 2000s, the two of them along with Mo formed a trio of inseparable friends.about a year ago from web-
At home, though, things were not great. Though he tried his best to provide for his new family after Kat’s birth in the late 90s, Peter was mentally ill, and his condition was exasperated by post-traumatic stress, developed as a result of his time in the military in the early 2000s during the US-led War in Turaqistan. After he was discharged for disobeying a direct order - he was ultimately unable to kill a disarmed insurgent who surrendered during a skirmish - he returned home a broken man, and often lashed out physically at his wife. They divorced when Kat was 12, and he passed away when she was 14. He’s buried in the Nova County Cemetery on the outskirts of town. Kat hasn’t been to see him since he died.
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Having died young, Peter left behind a cast of characters who are approaching middle age that Kat has to interact with increasingly frequently starting in her mid twenties, when suddenly a bunch of sitcom plots start happening to her for seemingly no reason except that we’re watching now.
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in case anyone is wondering if I ever stopped getting these kinds of comments: I haven’t. http://rainbowdash.net/url/876303
about a year ago from web-
@scribus everything depicted on my channel is an allegory for the George W. Bush administration and the war on terror which makes it real. Discord is Saddam Hussein.
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(It was tax-related. If they can’t even cut my taxes what good are Republicans? Because that was the last thing they could have done for me.)
Saturday, 24-Dec-22 03:21:14 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Dude, man, sorry to have to break it to you, but you don't make enough for the Republicans to cut your taxes....
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Admittedly I only have east coast prices to compare it to but I’m going to assume cigarette prices on the west coast are more comparable to New York than Virginia or North Carolina
Tuesday, 06-Dec-22 16:28:01 UTC from web-
@zeldatra They are brutal enough to make me really happy not to have started a tobacco habit, our "desperate bargain" brands are around $8-10
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Why did I think it was a good idea to try explaining magnets to a crackhead customer at work?
Sunday, 04-Dec-22 16:52:48 UTC from web-
@scribus love crackheads, I’m so glad that now that the metro stop in my hometown is open the crackheads who I banned from my old store in DC are coming over to my new store in the suburbs so that I can explain to them all over again that no, you cannot trade a gallon of canola oil for a carton of cigarettes like this is some kind of bartering station in Roman Greece
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@scribus it’s not, but it’s probably fairer in the south than it is in California, a pack of Marlboros is still under $10 here (currently $8.32 after tax)
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I can fix Kanye
Friday, 02-Dec-22 14:47:18 UTC from web-
@scribus no I mean just let him go on my podcast I will be the one to make him not hate Jews
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The dude from Master of Disguise is in my store right now pretending to be an Eastern European gambler who has no idea how to fill out a lottery card and is constantly getting something wrong no matter how many times the instructions are given to him.
Tuesday, 22-Nov-22 16:44:05 UTC from web -
Was thinking about who I could get to voice Jesus in Swole Foods and realized I don’t have one (1) Jewish friend. These are the drawbacks to not being based in New York or Los Angeles like everyone else in my field.
Wednesday, 16-Nov-22 06:58:13 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Jesus was a roman-era Hebrew, so he's pretty distanced from modern day Jews. He's also only half Hebrew since only his mother's lineage can be traced, so arguably you could cast anyone eurasian for the role and not be too far off mark.
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@nerthos I’m not genuinely that invested in an accurate casting, I’m voicing a south Asian guy which I obviously am not, I just briefly thought it’d be funny to make my imaginary Jewish friend do it
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Working on a paid project over the next few weeks. I will post... MY contributions here when I'm allowed. I WILL NOT post the project itself or even give the name because Gherkin will nuke my account.
Friday, 21-Oct-22 01:44:47 UTC from web-
@scribus it's not, like, i'm working on kanye's next video or anything like that, I'm just doing some extra backgrounds and 3D work and stuff, but the artist leading the project is a NSFW artist so you can probably guess what context this space ship i'm modeling is going to appear in...
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going on two and a half months without seeing my stalker, just kinda waiting for her to show up
Friday, 14-Oct-22 03:52:38 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Good gun, a bit expensive for carry if you don't use it often though. I'm a beretta 9mm guy, always found them nice, they were the standard cop gun here for decades.
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@nerthos I don’t actually carry one, I was being a bit tongue in cheek when I said I needed one for defense, I learned how to use one and it’s what I use when I go to the range but the main reason I did it was for a private security job that would’ve provided one for me. Didn’t end up applying for the job though so it’s just one of those things I know how to do now with no real practical applications for the moment.
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@zeldatra Feign vulnerability to bait the cougars, sun tzu would be proud
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me: I think kanye west is misunderstood, he's mentally ill and he needs some help, and he's right about some things sometimes.
kanye literally the next day: i'm going to go joker mode on some JewsTuesday, 11-Oct-22 02:02:44 UTC from web -
The legal-in-my-state substances I took hit me way harder than I thought they would last night. Maybe shouldn’t do that again.
Monday, 26-Sep-22 14:15:59 UTC from web-
@scribus there was apparently waaaaaay more THC in the edible than I thought. My brain basically shut down while my body went into autopilot and at some point I just decided to go to sleep because paranoia was setting in. I then slept for twelve hours, woke up, came to work, realized it was still kind of working its way through my system, it’s 3pm now and I’m only just feeling normal again.
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@zeldatra hahaha been there, man. Been there.... I was at a Christmas party, and the conversational peer of the Yule Log.
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I am going to find it easier and faster to export 360 individual PNG files than figuring out OpenToonz
Tuesday, 30-Aug-22 04:54:56 UTC from web-
@scribus OpenToonz is quite genuinely the least user friendly animation program in the entire Galaxy universe. It was designed to be used exclusively by the guy who first invented it to color Family Guy digitally in 2001 and if you are anybody but that’s one guy you’re SOL.
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@zeldatra Definitely not touched by anybody who has at any point used anything resembling a mainstream graphics program
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Just got off the phone with a very angry customer. I am at home. Beyond furious.
Tuesday, 30-Aug-22 01:28:14 UTC from web-
@scribus no, thankfully, my assistant called me on his own phone specifically because the customer wanted to yell at me
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What the hell this place still exists? Hi I'm a girl now and I'm in Seattle for a pony convention
Saturday, 27-Aug-22 22:57:07 UTC from web-
@redenchilada Like an MLP pony thing, or an actual equestrian event?
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@redenchilada I picked a great time to log back on. How have you been?
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@oracle Hey right on, it's almost a reunion or resurgence here!
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I’m one of two white guys on the entire planet who wears Kangols and the other one is Eminem which probably doesn’t help my case much
Saturday, 27-Aug-22 12:47:06 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Just so long as you don't try wearing it backwards like Samuel Jackson you should be OK
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Re-upped all of my animation programs with an old email account I had from community college that I never lost access to, therefore qualifying for the much cheaper student pricing. Don’t be a snitch, ‘kay?
Saturday, 20-Aug-22 06:10:41 UTC from web-
@zeldatra My old school and university were very quick disabling my accounts. I had a month to backup everything. In that time I could snatch the last time a student discount on the Amazon Prime membership. For all the other stuff (except for cinema) the student discounts were for products that are too expensive to begin with, even with a meager discount of 5% to 10% like laptops. The only discount that I abused was getting Windows licenses for 10€ over the MSDN program my university was part of. I got licenses for the family and a hand full for me.
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@adiwan my state’s community college system oversees all forms of adult education so once you’re enrolled you’re never “unenrolled” in the sense that you’ll always be a student because they offer courses that don’t contribute to a degree, and you need the student email to enroll for it, therefore, for as long as I live in this state, I am a student and don’t have to pay $70 a month for ToonBoom
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Next clone was struck by lightning almost immediately upon arriving home. Didn’t die, but they definitely have some kind of hidden “unlucky” flag or something that’s causing this.
Friday, 19-Aug-22 13:14:59 UTC from web-
@zeldatra I made a spellcaster Zelda Hylia for laughs (and because I'd been obsessing with HW:AOC again) and she evidently really likes the clone spell. Now there's an Iliana and a Ciera and like 2 or 3 others walking around town, with wildly different behaviors. I first found out when I thought I had caught the princess skinny-dipping in the hot tub and saw that she had changed her name :p
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@scribus there are three different clones of my main sim wandering around town right now (not counting the dead one, RIP Francis) because it’s a shockingly common work goal at the top level of the scientist career and I am slightly concerned that the neighborhood will be overrun as caring for all of them is a chore and I’ve basically been moving them into the family bin one by one and marking them as “unplayed” so that their AI will try and ingratiate them into the neighborhood storytelling feature.
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Wow I got mail from VP Harris! Wonder which letter it's in response to (and how inflammatory I was)?
Friday, 19-Aug-22 19:22:41 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Mine turned out to be pretty much a form letter, probably the same text I'd have gotten from an e-mail
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Today in The Sims 4: Cloned myself. Twice. First clone was evil (ie a bit of a prick) so I abandoned him on the street. Second clone was a perfect copy, but he died in a freak accident literal hours after being created. I think I shouldn’t clone myself anymore.
Thursday, 18-Aug-22 07:42:53 UTC from web-
@scribus meant, then forgot, to do some research on whether or not clones have hidden flags that make them more susceptible to deadly game events, because he died an emotion-related death which i was fairly certain up until that point was nearly impossible unless you were intentionally trying to cause it.
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@zeldatra I had the mom in one of my families die of laughter out of the blue. But I guess it was only *once* so
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oh please oh please oh please don’t let this jury summons be the Chris Chan trial
Tuesday, 16-Aug-22 00:32:54 UTC from web-
@scribus I was talking with a friend last night, like, there’s no way this person gets a fair trial from anyone under the age of 40, right? Jury selection’s gonna be rough.
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I am so Potato Knishesing glad Trump supporters are so goddamn dumb. Guy attacks an FBI field office in Ohio, and his grand master plan to get through the bullet proof glass is to use… a nail gun. I mean hey, it says “bullet proof”, not “nail proof”.
Friday, 12-Aug-22 15:42:46 UTC from web-
@zeldatra Hahaha. Oh wow. The same logic can be applied to this: A bullet-proof vest is not knife-proof. Good old chain mail is https://i.redd.it/wniq0txjswg91.jpg
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@zeldatra I'm quite fond of the supporters who rile up the internet and call for violence, and then denounce it as "no true Trump supporter" when it happens
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@scribus nothing better than a guy calling for actual violence in the streets, then when someone goes and does it he’s like “that’s an FBI plant bro”
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The best play is to have neither a real nor a fake girlfriend. More money for comics and action figures!
Thursday, 11-Aug-22 19:02:10 UTC from web-
@scribus This is true, I did have to pay my girlfriend at first. I mean, this was before we dated, and also she ran a cash register in my store at the time, but like, that’s just a couple of degrees away.
