Notices by LCpl Azure Blaze (lcplazureblaze), page 2

  1. Instinctfully riving faster to Motley Crue's Kickstart My Heart almost got me a ticket today.

    Monday, 04-Sep-17 16:26:23 UTC from web
  2. When you look down at a line of ants calmly working on the ground in Spain and wonder to yourself if they are speaking in Spanish to each other you know you've reached the next level of intellectualism in your life...

    Monday, 04-Sep-17 10:12:24 UTC from web
  3. Promotion board today. Here's how it went...
    SSgt: What does IRAM stand for?
    Me to me:*idk tf that is... Answer with confidence...*
    Me: SSgt, IRAM stands for, I initiate pt. R regulate pt. A arrange pt. M manage pt.
    SSgt: do you have any idea what IRAM stands for?
    Me:...
    SSgt:...
    Me: No SSgt...
    Ssgt: it's pros and cons Marine...
    Yeah so it all ended with me pretty much getting non recommended for Cpl because I kept a lizard as a pet in my room and that's not discipline... Y'all would've been proud tho. Best deployment ever.

    Thursday, 31-Aug-17 10:24:27 UTC from web
  4. Me: Shepherd, are you going to the gym today? Shepherd: Hell no. Me: Why not? Your favorite thing is there. Shepherd: What's that? Me: Sweaty men...

    Wednesday, 30-Aug-17 17:26:12 UTC from web
  5. My greatest fear if America continues going the way it is: https://youtu.be/e_37wQUiXIk

    Wednesday, 30-Aug-17 10:35:42 UTC from web
  6. @ceruleansparkold Add about 150lbs to that and you pretty much have it...

    Tuesday, 29-Aug-17 20:46:22 UTC from web in context
  7. Situation: 10:30 at night. 3/4 roommates asleep in their racks. 4th roommate hasn't been heard or seen all day. Suddenly the door swings open and the lights turn on. 4th roommate shouts, "What up *****es!!!" Literally everyone in the room: http://rainbowdash.net/attachment/861713

    Tuesday, 29-Aug-17 20:38:10 UTC from web
  8. I got caught with a pet lizard that I caught and kept inside my barracks room. My commanding officer and staff non commissioned officer sat me down and asked me what the hell. I told them that his name was Spike and that I was teaching him how to breathe fire. They laughed and this is how the rest of the conversation went: Them: how'd you feel when you let him go? Me: sad of course. Them: why? Me: because I had bonded with him. Them: how long did you have him? Me: two days. They laughed again... Something tells me I'm not getting paperwork for this but now they call me Mr. Spike...

    Tuesday, 29-Aug-17 15:44:32 UTC from web
  9. Why are there people out there protesting for stupid stuff like women's rights and black lives matter when we could be protesting against something that actually matters like people who make peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches...

    Tuesday, 29-Aug-17 15:33:08 UTC from web in context
  10. TMW, a random First Sergeant walks up to you at chow and uses you to make himself look like a boot in front of his entire grunt unit. Gee Gee, First Sergeant, trust me, I've been here longer, I know how things work. Now go have a seat.

    Thursday, 24-Aug-17 13:02:00 UTC from web
  11. Whose bright idea was it to put the armory and the ammo on two completely different sides of the base? Literally all you have to do is do a night para drop and we're all screwed because we have to run 12+ miles just to get armed in order to fight back. Gee gee.

    Wednesday, 23-Aug-17 05:38:32 UTC from web
  12. # If you have a lot of protein in your diet and you decide to have a lot of tobasco sauce be ready...

    Tuesday, 22-Aug-17 10:14:38 UTC from web
  13. The total solar eclipse only happens once every lifetime. Good thing I'm deployed, I mean who would want to see that?

    Tuesday, 22-Aug-17 05:22:37 UTC from web
  14. TMW you decide to lock yourself inside I giant freezer to skate through the second half of the workday. #

    Monday, 21-Aug-17 20:37:39 UTC from web
  15. @firestormdangerdash Except Razor belongs to PC gaming and PC gaming is master race filthy peasants.

    Monday, 21-Aug-17 10:15:45 UTC from web in context
  16. TMW you find an empty hazmat barrel so you decide that your health isn't as important as skating through the workday. # #

    Monday, 21-Aug-17 10:14:17 UTC from web
  17. No carb diet suck.

    Saturday, 19-Aug-17 11:35:06 UTC from web in context
  18. The best part about having to use the crapper in the middle of the night on a military base is when you hear everyone rubbing their weiners around you...

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 20:12:14 UTC from web in context
  19. @tiffany it's gonna be uuuge.

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 19:43:17 UTC from web in context
  20. @tiffany I will suck the man off if he finally releases us on Korea...

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 19:40:25 UTC from web in context
  21. @mrmattimation Jokes on you, he does his hair the same way he does his pubes.

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 19:39:32 UTC from web in context
  22. Gunnery Sgt: 123 Marines: 1 Gunny: 123 Marines: 2 Gunny: 123 Marines: 3 Gunny: This is what you asked Marines: 4. Me to myself: When did I ever ask for this?

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 15:01:36 UTC from web
  23. @mrmattimation not before women trap men in caves on Mars minning us for the only two things they need us for: our semen and our good sense of humor.

    Friday, 18-Aug-17 14:58:48 UTC from web in context
  24. When you get called back for an emergency formation halfway through your workout and all you can think is, "we better be going to war with Korea or I'ma be batcaveed."

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 18:58:54 UTC from web in context
  25. @lcplazureblaze Update: apparently four people, including the commander, took a count of the personnel and they still didn't notice I wasn't there. # #

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 15:06:14 UTC from web in context
  26. @scribus especially the gays... >MFW it all makes sense now...

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 14:46:59 UTC from web in context
  27. *Freeze frame* Yep, this is me. You're probably wondering how I even got here aren't you. It all started back in the summer of '96 *Baba O' Reily begins playing* the year I was born. Coincidentally that's the same year my grandma let me fall off the kitchen counter smashing my delicate newborn head on the floor. That's when I thought to myself that becoming a United States Marine was a good idea. Little did I know it was the worst decision in my life... Thanks grandma

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 09:46:34 UTC from web in context
  28. I don't know why but suddenly I want my gravestone to read "Dab on them haters"

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 09:44:12 UTC from web
  29. Contrary to popular belief, you DO need brakes in order to stop a motor vehicle.

    Thursday, 17-Aug-17 09:10:35 UTC from web
  30. So today I slept in and missed platoon pt lead by my commanding officer. This is something they'd normally fry a man for. We're talking probably some paperwork at least. But by some mysterious force, they didn't even realize I wasn't there. I woke up to the sound of everybody returning and I checked the time. 0639, an hour and a half late. I waited a while for the bathroom to clear up to go shave and went in when I thought it was safe. It wasn't. Two corporals were there shaving too. "Hey anon, did you enjoy PT today?" Not sure if on to me or actually asking question so I have to vaguely answer as well. "I wish I could've." "I'm sure you enjoyed sitting in the safety Vic." He replied. "Anon wasn't in the safety Vic." The other one said. They're on to me. Shave up and get out. The rest of the day I spent avoiding contact with anyone who could write me up and now I'm off scotch free. Regret not being there though. Heard the safety Vic caught on fire. I am now the skating legend here.

    Wednesday, 16-Aug-17 21:29:26 UTC from web in context