dibmembrane's favorite notices

MetalTao

Lesbians are a myth.
Like Global Warming and Mexicans.

Matt

I may or may not have programmed a chat bot to spit out the Navy SEALS copy pasta when you insult it.

Matt

Every day I pass an old abandoned school house during my morning and afternoon commute. I did some poking around and found out that it was a school for children of color back before desegregation. I wonder if the door's unlocked. I'd like to get a look inside a building virtually untouched since the 60s.

Matt

The worst part about being 18 is that I can't hit children anymore.

Matt

Is it a bad thing that when I heard that my grandfather was sick one of my first thoughts was "I wonder if I'm in his will"

Matt

A note to CNN: Taylor Swift being more popular than Kim Kardashian is not news. That's something you put in a magazine called "Teenz Tonite".

Matt

Patton Oswalt spoke at my school for the 2008 graduation, since he graduated from the school.

Some of his exact words were "When I was in high school, I smoked pot and played video games. Don't play video games, kids."

Matt

ACTUAL GTA IV script excerpt written by Dan Houser himself!!

SCENE: LIBERTY CITY
Niko walks into a room. It's a pretty basic room. There is a dude in a suit there.

DUDE IN A SUIT
You must be that guy I called two weeks ago.

NIKO
Yes, I was caught up with friend activities.

DUDE IN A SUIT
Pain in the ass, ain't they?

NIKO
Let's get to the point. I am here for the money.

DUDE IN A SUIT
Some metaphor about the American Dream and money.

NIKO
Cut the crap, will you?

DUDE IN A SUIT
I'm gonna kill your cousin.

NIKO
Oh.

DUDE IN A SUIT
Unless...

NIKO
Unless?

DUDE IN A SUIT
Unless you kill a guy halfway across Liberty. He's a juror or something and jurors are bad for business I think.

NIKO
And you'll let me and my cousin walk free?

DUDE IN A SUIT
Sure, if you do the same thing four times, only for me to stab you in the back and run you out of this particular neighborhood.

NIKO
Sounds easy enough.

DUDE IN A SUIT
Also, you're gonna need a suit. Go to Perseus.

Matt

I wish I had more fans. Not 'cause I want the attention, but because I wanna be able to put an box of condoms on Matt's desk and force a bunch of people to have all these weird YouTube discussions about which horse he's banging and then in the finale it's revealed he's been using them to make a balloon back home.

Matt

And then people are like "Well, there were 7 boxes on his desk, each box carries twelve condoms, and his balloon only had 83 condoms, which means he used one condom for other purposes" even though that doesn't make any sense because WHY THE cherry WOULD I COUNT THE AMOUNT OF CONDOMS USED IN MY DRAWING OF A CONDOM HOT AIR BALLOON, YOUTUBE??????? THAT WOULD TAKE ALL cherryING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cerulean Spark

Hey, hey, cheer up. Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hard-working people.

Cerulean Spark

http://blackhole12.github.io/PonyClicker/ponyclicker.html this took far longer than it ought to have

monsutaa kaado!

Et tu, princess http://rainbowdash.net/attachment/823479

Gherkin ☑️

What if Dr Eskine's super serum had turned Steve Rogers into a Kaled mutant? http://pny.lv/g2ln http://pny.lv/g2lo

orungano

So maybe Gherkin isn't a robot, but I'm pretty sure the admin is some sort of ancient super lizard.

Matt

Andrew for president 2016 http://rainbowdash.net/url/822868

Narwhal

My favourite part of the article: Some clinicians and scientists criticize giving genes frivolous, whimsical, or quirky names, calling it inappropriate that patients with "a serious illness or disability are told that they or their child have a mutation in a gene such as sonic hedgehog".

Narwhal Dib Membrane

@dibmembrane I did it! http://rainbowdash.net/attachment/822763

Matt

if i ever need a pizza delivery guy in one of my cartoons i will legitimately call Dominoes and make a special request for the pizza guy to say "I'm the pizza guy" into my microphone

orungano

Sometimes I open a new tab and in my recent tabs there are pictures of genitals I didn't know I looked at