Notices by Matt (zeldatra), page 54

Matt

I’m normally completely opposed to all things Ubisoft but Watch Dogs Legion is actually pretty good. The gimmick is really fun, the London setting provides lots of entertainment to the Anglophile in me, and the game(‘s single player) isn’t a completely broken mess like everything else Ubisoft puts out.

Matt

update: if I don’t have covid, then I have something that sure feels a lot like it, because this sucks major balls.

Matt

Well, I guess with that there delta variant this was bound to happen eventually - I think I have COVID-19. My symptoms are incredibly mild, and I’m fully vaccinated, so I’m sure they’ll stay that way, but I do have a fever and a cough, so, you know. Got a test scheduled for Friday, til then I’m gonna self isolate and hope all goes well.

Matt

Just noticed there’s cat food in the department managers’ office and now I’m trying to figure out a) who in the store is feeding cats, and b) what cats are hanging out on the highway far from any of the nearby suburbs

Matt

Having to constantly remind myself that while covid cases are still going up, my highly vaccinated county has had so little deaths since April you can count it on your fingers.

Matt

I watched an American Dad episode recently where Stan shops at a store called “Red State Grocery”. All of his neighbors, in suburban Fairfax County, are Republicans. Joe Biden won state AND county by double digits. Trump didn’t even get 30% in Fairfax County. When was the last time one of those writers actually looked at a map?

Matt

We’re the only animated sitcom that isn’t written by a bunch of dudes in a skyscraper somewhere in Los Angeles County. I think I’m gonna put that on the web advertising.

Matt

one of the main characters in Swole Foods is a “Californian” (he lived there for six years and has made it his entire identity) but I’ve never lived in California, I only know what I see on the news, so some of these jokes might seem inaccurate to people who actually live there, which I think is pretty fair considering Hollywood directors seem to think Virginia is still a part of the confederacy.

Matt

Stuff like that is why I’m just using fake politicians going forward, because it doesn’t matter WHO the real president is, if I’m using a made-up President, he can just be a parody of whoever’s convenient at the time.

Matt

If Gavin Newsom is actually recalled I’m gonna be mangoed because I make fun of his dumb ass in this pilot and I want my jokes to stay relevant, dammit!

Matt

“Are you free to speak your mind in America?” reads the chyron on a wholly uncensored American cable news network where they criticize America absolutely all the time.

Matt

I think about 95% of my house hunting journey so far has been finding a house, liking the photos, then learning that they’ve been trying to sell it since 2012 and realizing there’s probably something horribly wrong with the place… then scheduling a visit to see what’s horribly wrong.

Matt

Back when my viewer base was larger and more consistent, this would happen pretty regularly. I’d stream a game I’ve never played before, I play it “wrong”, usually exposing some kind of design flaw in the process, and then people would get angry at me. And that was, essentially, bonus content, because I’m a cartoonist, not a streamer. Can’t imagine doing that as my main content if that’s what people have to deal with.

Matt

One time I was streaming Bendy and the Ink Machine and I discovered that a lot of the jump scares are not designed to be faced by a player who’s instinct is not to run away immediately, they just keep looping the same animation over and over again because the dev legitimately did not account for the possibility that a player would just stand there instead of fleeing. This was the angriest my chat had ever been at me, because I wasn’t playing the game “right”. This is why I don’t stream games I don’t already know I like anymore.

Matt

thinking about paying a guy to come roll my joints for me because i am just not good at this

Matt

I’m a little old to be waking up to news about Chris Chan, can’t we leave that in the past

Matt

In a special crossover episode, The Simpsons come to visit, and Artie tries to bond with Bart to woo Marge, have they done this yet? The show’s been on the air for 35 years, they have to have done that by now.

Matt

i put "Jon Lovitz" in the cast list so here's the plot for the darker and edgier Krusty the Clown spinoff that I just made up right now: Krusty's show is taken off the air and in an attempt to revitalize his career, he hires a new publicist, who happens to be none other than Artie Ziff. Meanwhile, due to good behavior, Sideshow Bob is paroled, and Krusty reluctantly lets him live in his mansion because he has nowhere else to go.

Also, Milhouse's parents adopted him out, so he's there too.

Matt

currently animating the bojack horseman intro but with krusty the clown, i should be shot for this

Matt

showing an exit wound with freshly exposed brain matter in the foreground is totally okay if it’s a cartoon, right? that’s not gonna scar an audience that would probably be watching Rick & Morty?

Matt

today I repurposed an old unproduced My Little Brony script for Swole Foods, obviously I had to bring the premise back down to earth but it works surprisingly well.

Matt

If I call it the Trump Vaccine & give him full credit for it, will you at least get it? Completely acceptable trade off.

Matt

Thing that I want to try but do not have the space or funds to do - set up a physical, minimalist set that vaguely resembles a written scene, gathering the actors together, attaching mics onto them, acting & filming the scene like a stage production, then using the on-set audio and video reference to animate from. Not quite rotoscoping. More like storyboarding with people.

Matt

I’m sure Biden will, like, die of old age the day before I finish my cartoon about him.

Matt

…and then this past year, I had a ten-minute long cartoon about Trump ready to go. Not because I thought he was gonna win, but because I thought exactly what happened on January 6th was gonna happen and it would be my last cartoon before I was thrown into a gulag for sedition.