Notices by Zenneth (zennx), page 21
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@adiwan that's thing is gonna eat through the battery faster than you can say Pokemon GO
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5tCbd4fgkw
I'm going to need new underwear
kuz my current ones have just exploded with sexual fury -
@adiwan let me expand on this:
Not-so-distant-future; self-driving cars are commonplace, and with automatic refuelling stations they can go anywhere, for however long till the car itself falls apart.
one car suddenly stops in the middle of a main street, inside it lies a body, sitting on the passenger side, with it's head severed and propped on the driver's side, it's so old it's basically a mummy skin dried up by the sun, so very old the car doesn't even smell of death, just of dust and old leather.
The car's log showed that it had been driving on a preset course for over 5 years, never stopping.
After a few more weeks more cases like this occur on other streets of the country, but for every week that passes the corpses appear to be about 6 months closer to the time of death.
Now all we have to do is make the story about a detective, make him mysterious and make a poster that's got 3 lines of generic blurb and with Matt Damon's face and we got a money-printing machine -
@tiffany I'm interested, please provide examples
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@m14brony no, but she gets Fluffle Puffed if we bother her when she's prepping a case
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@mushi do not look up alolan persian
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@thelastgherkin no, but mom has absolute control over the volume
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@thelastgherkin are you familiar with the term
"Tautology" -
@thelastgherkin it's that ability that them electric pokeymans gots what paralizes anyone what hits them physically
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@mrmattimation lewd
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@rarity wait
does no one else hear the flintstones theme? -
@tiffany we don't
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My favorite funny lines out of all the 40 Discworld books:
“Well, now,” said Granny, rubbing her hands together, “I may be able to help you here. Could be I’ve got some dwarf bread to spare.”
“Nah. Not proper dwarf bread,” said the spokesdwarf moodily. “Proper dwarf bread’s got to be dropped in rivers and dried out and sat on and left and looked at every day and put away again. You just can’t get it down here.”
“This could be,” said Granny Weatherwax, “your lucky day.”
“To be frank,” said Nanny Ogg, “I think the cat bananaed on some of it.”
The spokesdwarf looked up, his eyes aglow.
“Hot damn!”Monday, 17-Oct-16 03:32:14 UTC from web -
@rarity not enough to grow shrooms yet
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@mrmattimation now it's up
must have been latency or something -
@mrmattimation it's offline for me
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@mushi you're thinking of Proxy tunnelling
it's a specific use of proxies and it takes forever to explain, involving port forwarding and SSL
basically just tell them it lets you bypass the firewall
Like entering a Police barricade by claiming to be the sweeper
the cops know there's no sweeping needed, but they let you through kuz there's no written exception that says "no Sweepers" -
@m14brony and we're socializing the whole thing
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@m14brony not in Portugal it ain't
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@mushi it makes the internet think your computer is in another place
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http://wnyt.com/news/michael-orchard-man-accused-of-stealing-dog-in-halfmoon-saratoga-county/4291294/ the hero we deserve
Sunday, 16-Oct-16 16:38:44 UTC from web -
@mrmattimation he wasn't a big guy, must have weighed 70kgs tops
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@tiffany my mom goes full berserker when she's drunk
once a guy made her drop her drink and refused to get her a new one
she grabbed him by the neck and the balls, lifted him above her head and threw him out the bar door -
@zennx FrankerZING KNEW IT
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@zennx or atleast I would if the damn self-censorship wasn't as sensitive as to block literally every thing that could ever be seen as even POTENCIALLY offensive
....
Time for a new test
SpapayaHORP https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smangohorpe
appleTONE https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bananatone -
@thelastgherkin @awl Wordsmith rank up 71
Soon I'll be able to literally blow people's head off just by saying "HELLO MY NAME IS" or the ever classic "kiwi!" -
@awl you can always Maycan ew one
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@tiffany I have this trick to getting over writer's blocks like that
I call it "Oh, don't you even get me started"
basically all you need to do is turn the whole thing into a rant about how X infuriates you.
I wrote a 10 page essay on how the agricultural development of china was literally the worst thing to ever happen to me besides that time I got gum in my hair -
@thelastgherkin you can prove nothing