Notices by Matt (zeldatra), page 8

Matt

suing Larry David for writing a Washington Post op-ed with the same premise as a joke that I have been telling for almost ten years now

Matt

to those who still wish to keep in touch when the sun swallows this website up: https://discord.gg/P72BESpVVD

Matt

England what the kiwi are these candies. Milkybar? Lion?? Haven’t you guys ever heard of damn M&Ms???

Matt

just like the bathroom in DC, so Matt has to pay $2 extra just to pee

Matt

and also you can’t step out to get a coffee because the coffee shop is just beyond the ticket gate

Matt

you ever take the wrong train from the airport and now you gotta act like you totally meant to come to this city with a suitcase just so you can sit on a bench and wait for the next train in the direction you just came from

Matt

Smh nobody in Lisbon Airport speaks English, this border crisis is really getting out of control, do better Kamala

Matt

Yeah wine on a plane sounds fancy until they bring it to you in a paper cup. Now you’re trash. I’m trash.

Matt

boy i sure did pick a fantastic time to come to england huh

Matt

not a fan of the toe cleavage these new Nike Dri-Fit socks give me

Matt

my last escort gave me a refund and told me not to ever call her again

Matt

I paid a license fee for Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” and then learned afterwards that the segment of the song was short enough that I didn’t actually need to pay anything, so now I have a song license I don’t need. No refunds!

Matt

Fallout London is pretty fun but it’s about as buggy as launch day New Vegas

Matt

Going to Paris.

Not for the Olympics or anything, just like, separately.

Matt

Hello, licensing? I need the most popular song titled “9 to 5” you have… No… not Dolly Parton… that’s TOO popular

Matt

for the first time ever my store ran out of Diet Mountain Dew and apparently it’s because JD Vance claimed the left wanted to get rid of it and schizophrenic Facebook boomers just believed him?

Matt

jake paul will be in yakuza 9 as like a substory character that ichiban thinks is annoying but they paid him a lot of money to come to the studio so he ends up being a pretty alright guy in the end

Matt

If Joe Biden winds up resenting Obama even half as much as I do this will all have been worth it. http://rainbowdash.net/url/876624

Matt

I bet Bush is real goddamn thankful that all anyone ever had for him was a pair of shoes

Matt

If I got my ear blown off like that on the campaign trail I am immediately dropping out, I ain’t dying for you ungrateful mfs

Matt

Just woke up from a nightmare about the Woobus, a hideous Bolivian monkey-type animal that can flatten itself to defend against threats, has spines that shoot out when threatened, has an insanely distressing alarm call, always has a boner, and will beat your kiwiing ass if you approach it. it had no legs and walked around with its arms using its clenched fists as feet. it always had its eyes closed but it could still see you. it had donkey kong’s haircut.

Matt

>2008
>NYT headline about Joe Biden being a gaffe machine
>2024
>NYT headline about Joe Biden being a gaffe machine

Matt

keep my open carry on my hip in case of Mormons

Matt

so I guess going through four heads of state in five years isn’t a winning strategy